My 7 Things

1. I HAVE BEEN A PROFESSIONAL HAND MODEL: When I worked for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a "stand-in" on their production of the Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration, the director shot a few scenes where they needed close up hand shots (like The A-Team). After long and extensive auditions my sexy hands were chosen (George Costanza and Ray McKigney got nothing on me). O.k., it was more like: "Mark, we need you on set." These shots include me as a prison guard locking a door with a key, and as Joseph Smith scooping up slop from a bucket. Though these scenes were cut for Joseph, they will appear in the film, Emma Smith: My Story, or at least they were in it when I saw a screening a few months ago.

2. I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL CHEER LEADER: During my sophomore year in High School, for the fall season, I was the High School Mascot. We were the bull dogs. One perk was I got to meet Janine Turner, cast member of Northern Exposure. Speaking of that, as a bonus, my Kevin Bacon number is 2. If you find out how, you win a prize.

3. I FORGOT TO SING ON STAGE: During back-to-back shows of the musical Oklahoma, I forgot to sing my part in "A Farmer and a Cowman Should Be Friends." It was not too cool to stand on stage and look like an idiot, but for those that know me, that is a common look for me.

4. BAPTISM PROBLEMS: On my mission, the first time I baptized someone (it was a 9 year old girl in Pine Bluff Arkansas), it took me 5 times to get it right. I said the prayer wrong 2 times, and took me 3 times to completely dunk her.

5. WHAT IS THAT ON MY GLOVE?: While a 14-year-old boy scout, our troop went to a friend's cabin one winter to go ice-fishing and have a "camp-out." This cabin did not have a bathroom, but a outhouse to the side of the house. While I was going "#1," or I should say, about to go, I set my glove down on the side of the hole. However, I bumped the glove with my leg, and the glove fell into a frozen pill of you-know-what. I quickly grabbed a fishing pole, dropped the line into dark abyss, and was able to catch the only thing anybody caught all weekend - the glove.

6. SHOWER ME WITH YOUR "A'S": Back to high school we go. Also during my sophomore year, during my English class, we had to give a "How to" speech. Upon the inspiration of my sister Elaine's friend, I decided to give my speech on "how to take a shower." I found a fridge box, gussied it to look like a shower, and brought it to school. I began my speech singing "Rubber Duckey, you're the one, you make bath time lots of fun..." but proceeded on to compare baths and showers and why showers were better (though I do love a nice bubble bath and that fact that you can play with toys in the bath - which were my arguments in my speech), and how to properly wash your body and hair, in addition to how to shave your legs in the shower. After 20 years of teaching, the teacher, Mr. Ray Westberg, (God rest his soul), gave out his first perfect score (25/25) for a speech.

7. QUIT MAKING NOISE WITH YOUR FOOD: One of my biggest pet peeves is when people make too much noise eating. Chomping, chewing, swallowing, you know who you are, and we do not like it. I have a family member that breathes in every time he/she eats with a spoon. I don't know why.