This morning, my friend sent me an email about ladies' public bathrooms. (Here it is posted online for your convenience.) I laughed...because in so many ways, it's true.
Any way, it got me reminiscing about going into a bathroom and finding out - only too late - that there is no toilet paper.
A few years ago, when I was still an undergraduate student at BYU, I was in a performing group called Multicultural Student Organization. (This does not exist any more.) Any way, our group went to California on tour in the spring one year. We were divided into groups of two to six students and hosted by an LDS family in the area.
So, the host family met us at the pick-up and took us straight home. It wasn't a very long ride, but I was so looking forward to getting "home" and relieving myself. So, first thing, I ask if I can use their bathroom. They tell me, "First door on the left."
I did my business, only to realize I didn't see any toilet paper. I mean, none.
I'm thinking, "OK, I'm in a family's house. They have to have toilet paper under the sink. I will be the nice person and refill the tp holder." No luck. No tp under the sink. No tp on the toilet tank. No tissue on the counter. No tissue on the toilet. Nothing. There is NOTHING to wipe myself with. Nothing.
What do I do?
I check everything again.
No tp.
I give up.
"HELP!"
Yes, I had to hollar for help at a stranger's house - for toilet paper. Hahahah!!!!! And, I really did have to yell, because the family and my buddy were all on the other side of the house. Zoiks...
That was awesome. :-D
Do you have any funny "no toilet paper" stories?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Save Gas, Drive Naked
I have that quote on my Gmail instant messenger, and I am getting a lot of questions about it. A few weeks ago, Glenn Beck wrote an article proposing that as a solution to save gas in response to Obama saying fill our tires. Here is the article for your reviewing pleasure.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Call our politicians and tell them to stay on vacation. Call the caribou roaming in Alaska and tell them they're safe. Call the Saudi king and tell him what you really think of his oil.
I, Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic rodeo clown, have come up with a solution to America's energy crisis...and you're wearing it.
Look at yourself right now. You've probably got on a shirt, socks, shoes, jewelry, maybe even some pants. Do you have any idea how much all of that weighs?
If people really loved America, they would strip down, leave their clothes at home, and drive around buck naked. That would decrease the weight of our cars, which would increase our gas mileage so dramatically that we probably wouldn't have to drill for any new oil!
Genius, right?
Of course, my idea has about as much of a chance to make a real difference in our energy crisis as the suggestion that Barack Obama recently made.
"Making sure your tires are properly inflated, simple thing," Obama said. "But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much."
When The Associated Press asked Obama's campaign for the figures they used to make that claim, they couldn't produce any -- but plenty of other people have.
It turns out that about two-thirds of vehicles already have properly inflated tires. That means we'd likely save somewhere around 800,000 barrels of oil a day if everyone else also complied. Meanwhile, the U.S. Minerals Management Service estimates that there are about 86 billion barrels of oil in the areas that we're not allowed to drill. You do the math.
But, facts aside, Obama seemed to be stunned that Republicans would dare ridicule an idea as revolutionary as checking your tire pressure. "They're making fun of a step that every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption," he complained.
No, what they're making fun of is that a guy who, less than two months earlier, was against the gas tax holiday because it was a "gimmick," has suddenly embraced what is essentially a gimmick.
No one, including John McCain, disputes that keeping your tires inflated will help you get better gas mileage. But so will emptying your trunk, buying a hybrid, not using the heat, and driving naked. The point is that none of those things are solutions; they're unsustainable gimmicks that distract people from solving the underlying crisis. They're also exactly the type of things that Obama once claimed he was against.
But, of course, the adoring mainstream media doesn't want to talk about that, they just want to defend Obama's honor.
Michael Grunwald recently wrote an article titled, "The Tire-Gauge Solution: No Joke," that probably would've been harsher on Obama if it was written by Barack himself. It's more love-sonnet than journalism.
"Meanwhile," he wrote, "efficiency experts say that keeping tires inflated can improve gas mileage 3 percent and regular maintenance can add another 4 percent. Many drivers already follow their advice, but if everyone did, we could immediately reduce demand several percentage points. In other words: Obama is right."
Of course he's right; he's Barack Obama, savior of the universe! But one phrase that he used deserves a little more attention: "but if everyone did."
"But if everyone" donated their organs then people wouldn't die waiting for them.
"But if everyone" ate only lettuce then our health care system would be fixed.
"But if everyone" just sent me one dollar then I'd retire with $300 million in the bank.
Of course, the reality is that people still die waiting for organs, obesity is an epidemic, and I'm still writing these columns. That's why saying "but if everyone did" is such a red herring.
Grunwald went on to suggest that perhaps we're just over-thinking this whole "energy crisis" thing. "It's a pretty simple concept," he wrote. "If our use of fossil fuels is increasing our reliance on Middle Eastern dictators while destroying the planet, maybe we ought to use less."
Welcome back to Fantasy Land. Saying "we ought to" is exactly the same as "but if everyone" -- a way to make a ridiculous point sound plausible. It's like saying: We ought to all live in peace and harmony. It's not that easy.
But let's follow his yellow brick road for a second anyway. If we all put on our Jimmy Carter sweaters and used less oil, we'd still need millions of barrels. How about making sure those barrels come from America by starting to drill for it now? We'll never be truly free until we're completely free from Middle Eastern oil.
Not surprisingly, drilling was nowhere to be found in the article, but Grunwald did include plenty of other, "simple" things we can do:
"We can use those twisty carbon fluorescent light bulbs. We can unplug our televisions, computers and phone chargers when we're not using them."
He's living in a dream world! Not only is unplugging a television not going to do a darn thing, it's annoying and almost no one in their right mind will ever, ever, ever, ever do it! Ever!
And finally, just in case you weren't yet sure if Grunwald's article was essentially a commercial for Obama, here's how he ended it:
"It's sad to see (McCain's) campaign adopting the politics of the tire gauge, promoting the fallacy that Americans are powerless to address their own energy problems. Because the truth is: Yes, we can..."
Hmm, let me think, where have I heard "Yes we can" before? Ohhh, that's right, it's what Obama supporters chant at his speeches.
Is Obama's energy policy solely based on tire gauges? No. But can we criticize him for embracing the same kind of gimmicky stall tactics that have gotten us to this place?
Yes. Yes we can.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Call our politicians and tell them to stay on vacation. Call the caribou roaming in Alaska and tell them they're safe. Call the Saudi king and tell him what you really think of his oil.
I, Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic rodeo clown, have come up with a solution to America's energy crisis...and you're wearing it.
Look at yourself right now. You've probably got on a shirt, socks, shoes, jewelry, maybe even some pants. Do you have any idea how much all of that weighs?
If people really loved America, they would strip down, leave their clothes at home, and drive around buck naked. That would decrease the weight of our cars, which would increase our gas mileage so dramatically that we probably wouldn't have to drill for any new oil!
Genius, right?
Of course, my idea has about as much of a chance to make a real difference in our energy crisis as the suggestion that Barack Obama recently made.
"Making sure your tires are properly inflated, simple thing," Obama said. "But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much."
When The Associated Press asked Obama's campaign for the figures they used to make that claim, they couldn't produce any -- but plenty of other people have.
It turns out that about two-thirds of vehicles already have properly inflated tires. That means we'd likely save somewhere around 800,000 barrels of oil a day if everyone else also complied. Meanwhile, the U.S. Minerals Management Service estimates that there are about 86 billion barrels of oil in the areas that we're not allowed to drill. You do the math.
But, facts aside, Obama seemed to be stunned that Republicans would dare ridicule an idea as revolutionary as checking your tire pressure. "They're making fun of a step that every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption," he complained.
No, what they're making fun of is that a guy who, less than two months earlier, was against the gas tax holiday because it was a "gimmick," has suddenly embraced what is essentially a gimmick.
No one, including John McCain, disputes that keeping your tires inflated will help you get better gas mileage. But so will emptying your trunk, buying a hybrid, not using the heat, and driving naked. The point is that none of those things are solutions; they're unsustainable gimmicks that distract people from solving the underlying crisis. They're also exactly the type of things that Obama once claimed he was against.
But, of course, the adoring mainstream media doesn't want to talk about that, they just want to defend Obama's honor.
Michael Grunwald recently wrote an article titled, "The Tire-Gauge Solution: No Joke," that probably would've been harsher on Obama if it was written by Barack himself. It's more love-sonnet than journalism.
"Meanwhile," he wrote, "efficiency experts say that keeping tires inflated can improve gas mileage 3 percent and regular maintenance can add another 4 percent. Many drivers already follow their advice, but if everyone did, we could immediately reduce demand several percentage points. In other words: Obama is right."
Of course he's right; he's Barack Obama, savior of the universe! But one phrase that he used deserves a little more attention: "but if everyone did."
"But if everyone" donated their organs then people wouldn't die waiting for them.
"But if everyone" ate only lettuce then our health care system would be fixed.
"But if everyone" just sent me one dollar then I'd retire with $300 million in the bank.
Of course, the reality is that people still die waiting for organs, obesity is an epidemic, and I'm still writing these columns. That's why saying "but if everyone did" is such a red herring.
Grunwald went on to suggest that perhaps we're just over-thinking this whole "energy crisis" thing. "It's a pretty simple concept," he wrote. "If our use of fossil fuels is increasing our reliance on Middle Eastern dictators while destroying the planet, maybe we ought to use less."
Welcome back to Fantasy Land. Saying "we ought to" is exactly the same as "but if everyone" -- a way to make a ridiculous point sound plausible. It's like saying: We ought to all live in peace and harmony. It's not that easy.
But let's follow his yellow brick road for a second anyway. If we all put on our Jimmy Carter sweaters and used less oil, we'd still need millions of barrels. How about making sure those barrels come from America by starting to drill for it now? We'll never be truly free until we're completely free from Middle Eastern oil.
Not surprisingly, drilling was nowhere to be found in the article, but Grunwald did include plenty of other, "simple" things we can do:
"We can use those twisty carbon fluorescent light bulbs. We can unplug our televisions, computers and phone chargers when we're not using them."
He's living in a dream world! Not only is unplugging a television not going to do a darn thing, it's annoying and almost no one in their right mind will ever, ever, ever, ever do it! Ever!
And finally, just in case you weren't yet sure if Grunwald's article was essentially a commercial for Obama, here's how he ended it:
"It's sad to see (McCain's) campaign adopting the politics of the tire gauge, promoting the fallacy that Americans are powerless to address their own energy problems. Because the truth is: Yes, we can..."
Hmm, let me think, where have I heard "Yes we can" before? Ohhh, that's right, it's what Obama supporters chant at his speeches.
Is Obama's energy policy solely based on tire gauges? No. But can we criticize him for embracing the same kind of gimmicky stall tactics that have gotten us to this place?
Yes. Yes we can.
Update
Andrea previously posted about me taking my motorcycle training classes. To update, I took the state written test (which is really easy) a few weeks ago and the road retest on Saturday using Andrea's brother, Jarom's, Honda Magnum 750 cc. I passed the test (there were some riders that couldn't ride and still passed) and I went got my full endorsement today. So, anybody know a good deal on a fun bike?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Joe, American
This guy is AWESOME. Too bad our presidential candidates don't listen. Perhaps they should, as Jeff Foxworthy says, "Take that car key out of your ear."
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Because He Loves Me
Mark loves me.
He really does.
He really does.
So, I ride a motorcycle. I have ridden a motorcycle for over two years now. I originally got my motorcycle because of various reasons. But, I love it. Last year, I hung out with my motorcycle buddies almost all summer. We even did a four-day ride to Yellowstone.
When Mark and I first started dating, he told me that my riding a motorcycle was okay with him. I told him that not riding a motorcycle was okay with me. (Though, it seems like all my family and friends are concerned with his lack of motorcycle history.)
But, Mark did something to impress me. And everyone else. Because he's soooooooo awesome.
Mark took a motorcycle class.
He took it on August 4 - 7. He left work early and didn't get home until about nine o'clock each day. He had two days in a classroom setting talking about the mechanics of motorcycle riding and motorcycle safety. He also had two days at a parking lot, on a bike.I went to the riding course on Thursday (his last night) and spied on him. I wanted pictures to prove he took the class. He's so awesome....
Yesterday he went to the DMV and officially got his motorcycle learner's permit. He's been riding my motorcycle and Jarom's motorcycle to practice for the riding test--so he'll be entirely official.
Let me clarify. I past the riding test already, and can be endorsed up to 649 cc, but because of the new stupid law, if I want to be fully endorsed for any size motorcycle, I have to pass the test on a bike larger than 650cc. So, I am using Jarom's bike to take the riding retest.
Yah, he's incredible.
He is soooooooooo awesome.
What a catch.
*sigh*
He is soooooooooo awesome.
What a catch.
*sigh*
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I Am Not a Hypochondriac
I hiked Mt. Timanogos on July 25. My knees killed on the way down the mountain, especially my left knee. It turns out I really do have something wrong with my knees.
I went to the doctor on Friday (exactly two weeks from the hike) and described everything that happened, described how my knees were before, and since the hike.
He thinks that I have PFP (patello-femoral pain). My patella is not in the right place (centered), and therefore, it is causing me some pain. (Though it is not as extreme as pictured above, that is just to show the concept.) I'm going to go to physical therapy to see if I can learn how to correct it.
He told me that my vastus medialis is either not triggering when it's supposed to and/or it is too weak compared to the other three of my quadriceps. The vastus medialis is the muscle that holds the patella in the center of the knee.
He told me that this condition is often found in women because their legs don't go straight down, they go down at an angle. This angle is because of how our pelvis spreads out when we hit puberty.
Any way, yah...so, it wasn't my imagination that something was wrong. And, I'm glad it's not worse than this.
I went to the doctor on Friday (exactly two weeks from the hike) and described everything that happened, described how my knees were before, and since the hike.He thinks that I have PFP (patello-femoral pain). My patella is not in the right place (centered), and therefore, it is causing me some pain. (Though it is not as extreme as pictured above, that is just to show the concept.) I'm going to go to physical therapy to see if I can learn how to correct it.
He told me that my vastus medialis is either not triggering when it's supposed to and/or it is too weak compared to the other three of my quadriceps. The vastus medialis is the muscle that holds the patella in the center of the knee.
He told me that this condition is often found in women because their legs don't go straight down, they go down at an angle. This angle is because of how our pelvis spreads out when we hit puberty.
Any way, yah...so, it wasn't my imagination that something was wrong. And, I'm glad it's not worse than this.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Pete's Dragon, "I Love You Too"
This is a great tune that both Andrea & I love. It is one of our wedding songs.
Iron Giant - one of the greatest unknown cartoons
I saw this one on the Disney Channel many years ago, and loved it. Here is the ending to remind those that have seen it.
Diet Questions Answered
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a Ride'
AND......
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
This was posted at www.cougarboard.com and Andrea and I both thought it was great
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a Ride'
AND......
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
This was posted at www.cougarboard.com and Andrea and I both thought it was great
Monday, August 04, 2008
Taking a Chance
On Friday, Mark and I decided to take a chance. We thought we would go camping--without reservations.Here's the low-down. Apparently, making a reservation at a campground is almost a necessity. We didn't know this. What we did know is that when you make a reservation, it has to be for two days. We didn't want to camp two nights because we wanted to be home for church on Sunday. Hence, taking a chance.
We drove past Park City, into Oakley, and then up Weber Canyon. Our destination was Smith and Morehouse Reservoir. There is a campground on the north side and the south side of the reservoir.We checked out the north campground first. Smith & Morehouse has 34 spots--all 34 were reserved and/or occupied. Then we checked out the south campground. Ledgefork has 73 spots--all but 1 were reserved and/or occupied. We just happened to get there at the right time.
In fact, when the camp hosts came around to get our money, they told us the campers had just up and left--suddenly. They told us that if we had got there five minutes earlier, the campers might have still been there. If we had got there five minutes later, someone else would have snatched up that spot. It was destiny.The previous campers had left us a stack of wood--and a burning fire. Well, smoldering. But, the flames lit up without any persuasion. I'm glad we didn't have to go wood hunting. Or pay for it (since the camp hosts have wood for $6). There was just enough for our little fire for the night and the next morning--and plenty enough for us to play around in. Only you can prevent forest fires!
We quickly set up our tent so we could fix dinner and play games. While we were setting up our tent, our neighbor came over bearing four foil dinners. She said, "We made extra foil dinners, would you like one, or two?" We were surprised, and very grateful. We took one each. Mark tossed them in the fire and we continued putting our tent up.I taught Mark how to put up our tent. He likes it. And, it's plenty big for us to grow with--whenever that happens.
Too many minutes later, we attended to our free meals--only to find them charred beyond all recognition. I tried to eat mine, but it was no use. Oh well.... :-D heheheheheh..........Good thing we had our planned dinner to fill our bellies: steaks and jello.
We played Scrabble and Mark (as usual) kicked my behind. We played Think-it - Link-it (a word game). We roasted marshmallows and had smores. And, we goggled at the expanse of beautiful stars blanketing our campground. The sky was stunning. Mark said he saw an asteroid. Sweet!
The next morning, we had cereal and graham crackers for breakfast. Then we took down the tent and played more games. We played one of the fastest games of War known to man--perhaps three minutes. I won. Then we played a second game of War that was also quick. I won that one too.We also just sat and talked as we poked at our little fire. It was so relaxing. *sigh* (Part of our conversation was about what we could do--like walk down by the lake. But, we were too lazy. Ha!)
Mark picked me some pretty flowers. Probably just as sweet as the flowers themselves, was Mark’s comment, “I picked these for you. [grin] Don’t worry—you don’t have to keep them.” I love flowers—but I think they would have quickly died—even on the short ride home. So, instead of taking them home with us, I just took this picture. Mark’s the best! I am one lucky woman.We ate hot dogs and plums for lunch before heading down the mountain.
It was a great break from routine--and it was good to get all smelly. Mark's a good camping buddy. And, I'm so glad we took that chance! Woohoo!!!!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Between the BBQ & the parties: THE HONEYMOON!!
DAY 1: Leave, Arrive, and Leave
The early, early, early morning of the day after partying it up at our BBQ in Murray, we had Andrea's brother, Jarom, drive us to the airport. We had packed the day before, so we could just get up and go.
Our flight was at about 7:45 a.m. and we flew to Houston, Texas. At the airport, we were met by our charter bus but waited for about 1 hour for more guests.
From Houston, we took the bus to Galveston, Texas. Being the day before Memorial day, the traffic was horrible. We arrived at the Carnival Cruise Line, about 20 minutes before the boat was supposed to leave.
This was my first cruise, but Andrea's third cruise. Of course, we were very tired and hungry, but we had to do a drill and put on our life jackets and be lectured on where to go in case of an emergency. I don't remember what they said, I wasn't really paying attention.
We quickly took a tour of our boat and got some food. Food was my favorite aspect of being on the boat. I ate about 5 meals a day and after 7 days, gained 15 lbs.
Andrea then felt sick and I had to run around the ship looking for aspirin. I found it. She fell asleep and slept for like 4 freaking hours!!! I watched TV. They sent us live TV from Colorado. Weird!
We finally made it to the dinner, barely, and met our servers for the trip. We then went to a show and met the dancers for the week. To us, our singers/dancers were not just Vegas rejects, but they were Reno rejects.
DAY 2: Fun Day at Sea
We had a full day of ocean bliss, we again toured the boat. We went to the pool and ate food. We took several naps (wink wink) and ate more food.
That night was a formal night and we dressed in our best Samoan clothes.
I thought I would be the only man on the ship in a skirt, but our cruise director, "Little Jimmie," a Scot, had his kilt on.
That night we saw a ventriloquist. We both thought that he was pretty good. One of his bits he used a magic drawing board.
DAY 3: Water, Water All Around and Not a Drop to Drink
We had another pretty lazy day where we layed out and tanned, ate lots of food, and played a few games of bingo.
That night, there was a color war. We were on the blue team. It was a little junior high-ish, but we had some fun. I even won the "air guitar" competition and got a monkey coconut. We gave the drink away--because it was alcohol.
DAY 4: Ya-Man!
We docked in Montego Bay, Jamaica. This was a great day. We got on a bus and traveled to Ocho Rios at Dunn's falls. Here, we climbed, of course, 8 rivers.
Of course, they wouldn't let us take our camera with us, so they could get us to buy their pictures and a DVD. Here was the picture we bought.
We had quite a unique group with us as we all held hands and climbed the falls. Our favorite couple had to be the gay European body builders.
As we left the falls, the Jamaicans quickly attacked us to buy their souvenirs. One guy showed us two small carvings of a man and woman. He asked us for our names and he quickly carved them into them and then asked us for $40 for mine and he would give us Andrea's for "free." Andrea did not want to give him our names because then we would have to buy them. I was thinking, once he has put our names on it he will take whatever we give him. I gave him $10 for both.
We then went down the road and swam with dolphins. Yes, we swam with dolphins. Our dolphin was named Nemo. We got into groups of about 8, and were able to do various tricks with Nemo, including getting a kiss and swimming with him. For those that never have touched a dolphin, they are very slippery. (Mark totally made out with Nemo. It took me a few days to get over that.)
A traditional Jamaican lunch was included in our excursion. There were two sections with food. The right side was where we were supposed to get food. The left side was covered up but I opened a lid and saw nice chicken. I took a piece and gave it to Andrea. I then went to get a piece for me and I was quickly attacked--they took my plate of food away. I had to go back in line and get the inferior food. I did eat 1/2 of the chicken I gave to Andrea.
Of course, Andrea slept on the way back to the floating hotel.
Before we got back on the boat, I helped out a local band with their performance.
It rained that night.
DAY 5: ARRRRRG!!!! The Pirate's Life for Me
The next day we arrived in the Grand Caymens. It is incredibly flat. The highest point is a man-made dirt pile, towering over the island at 100 feet. It is an old pirate island, so that is the theme of the island.
I booked a scuba diving trip for Andrea. Not being certified like me, her dive was called a "Discovery Scuba." The instructor gave her a brief lesson on the shore, and then we went down into the water. I tagged along and we only reached about 20 feet, but I got to see a lot cool fish and a sunken boat. Apparently the boat struck a reef, so the British Navy blew it up. Here is Andrea getting instructions on the gear.
Andrea did a great job and survived her first dive.
After the dive, we walked around the town. There were several pirate statutes around. Andrea got caught by one.
That night was another formal night. (Mark is so freakin' handsome.)
That night the cooks made some neat food decorations.
DAY 6: Viva la Mexico!!!
The last stop was Cozumel, Mexico. We wanted to just go swimming in the ocean, but decided to go horseback riding and see some ruins. We should have gone to the beach.
It was fun riding the horses, but the ruins were all replicas. The only real ruins were caves.
Before we got on our horses, Andrea showed off her great balancing skills.
Here we are on our horses.
After the horses, we again walked around town. In the other stops, we saw only 1"slug bug" and it was on a billboard (though I dispute that it was a slug bug). In Mexico, Slug Bugs are about 25% of all the vehicles. Though we didn't see "Herbie," Andrea did see her name sake.
DAY 7: Time for Home
The last day we spent sailing back to Texas. That night, we decided to wear our teeth to dinner.
Well, that was our trip. We had a lot of fun. Cruises are great, especially if you like to eat. Like me!
The early, early, early morning of the day after partying it up at our BBQ in Murray, we had Andrea's brother, Jarom, drive us to the airport. We had packed the day before, so we could just get up and go.
Our flight was at about 7:45 a.m. and we flew to Houston, Texas. At the airport, we were met by our charter bus but waited for about 1 hour for more guests.From Houston, we took the bus to Galveston, Texas. Being the day before Memorial day, the traffic was horrible. We arrived at the Carnival Cruise Line, about 20 minutes before the boat was supposed to leave.
This was my first cruise, but Andrea's third cruise. Of course, we were very tired and hungry, but we had to do a drill and put on our life jackets and be lectured on where to go in case of an emergency. I don't remember what they said, I wasn't really paying attention.
We quickly took a tour of our boat and got some food. Food was my favorite aspect of being on the boat. I ate about 5 meals a day and after 7 days, gained 15 lbs.
Andrea then felt sick and I had to run around the ship looking for aspirin. I found it. She fell asleep and slept for like 4 freaking hours!!! I watched TV. They sent us live TV from Colorado. Weird!
We finally made it to the dinner, barely, and met our servers for the trip. We then went to a show and met the dancers for the week. To us, our singers/dancers were not just Vegas rejects, but they were Reno rejects.DAY 2: Fun Day at Sea
We had a full day of ocean bliss, we again toured the boat. We went to the pool and ate food. We took several naps (wink wink) and ate more food.
That night was a formal night and we dressed in our best Samoan clothes.
I thought I would be the only man on the ship in a skirt, but our cruise director, "Little Jimmie," a Scot, had his kilt on.
That night we saw a ventriloquist. We both thought that he was pretty good. One of his bits he used a magic drawing board.DAY 3: Water, Water All Around and Not a Drop to Drink
We had another pretty lazy day where we layed out and tanned, ate lots of food, and played a few games of bingo.
That night, there was a color war. We were on the blue team. It was a little junior high-ish, but we had some fun. I even won the "air guitar" competition and got a monkey coconut. We gave the drink away--because it was alcohol.
DAY 4: Ya-Man!
We docked in Montego Bay, Jamaica. This was a great day. We got on a bus and traveled to Ocho Rios at Dunn's falls. Here, we climbed, of course, 8 rivers.
Of course, they wouldn't let us take our camera with us, so they could get us to buy their pictures and a DVD. Here was the picture we bought.
We had quite a unique group with us as we all held hands and climbed the falls. Our favorite couple had to be the gay European body builders.As we left the falls, the Jamaicans quickly attacked us to buy their souvenirs. One guy showed us two small carvings of a man and woman. He asked us for our names and he quickly carved them into them and then asked us for $40 for mine and he would give us Andrea's for "free." Andrea did not want to give him our names because then we would have to buy them. I was thinking, once he has put our names on it he will take whatever we give him. I gave him $10 for both.
We then went down the road and swam with dolphins. Yes, we swam with dolphins. Our dolphin was named Nemo. We got into groups of about 8, and were able to do various tricks with Nemo, including getting a kiss and swimming with him. For those that never have touched a dolphin, they are very slippery. (Mark totally made out with Nemo. It took me a few days to get over that.)
A traditional Jamaican lunch was included in our excursion. There were two sections with food. The right side was where we were supposed to get food. The left side was covered up but I opened a lid and saw nice chicken. I took a piece and gave it to Andrea. I then went to get a piece for me and I was quickly attacked--they took my plate of food away. I had to go back in line and get the inferior food. I did eat 1/2 of the chicken I gave to Andrea.
Of course, Andrea slept on the way back to the floating hotel.
Before we got back on the boat, I helped out a local band with their performance.
It rained that night.DAY 5: ARRRRRG!!!! The Pirate's Life for Me
The next day we arrived in the Grand Caymens. It is incredibly flat. The highest point is a man-made dirt pile, towering over the island at 100 feet. It is an old pirate island, so that is the theme of the island.
I booked a scuba diving trip for Andrea. Not being certified like me, her dive was called a "Discovery Scuba." The instructor gave her a brief lesson on the shore, and then we went down into the water. I tagged along and we only reached about 20 feet, but I got to see a lot cool fish and a sunken boat. Apparently the boat struck a reef, so the British Navy blew it up. Here is Andrea getting instructions on the gear.Andrea did a great job and survived her first dive.After the dive, we walked around the town. There were several pirate statutes around. Andrea got caught by one.
That night was another formal night. (Mark is so freakin' handsome.)That night the cooks made some neat food decorations.DAY 6: Viva la Mexico!!!
The last stop was Cozumel, Mexico. We wanted to just go swimming in the ocean, but decided to go horseback riding and see some ruins. We should have gone to the beach.
It was fun riding the horses, but the ruins were all replicas. The only real ruins were caves.
Before we got on our horses, Andrea showed off her great balancing skills.
Here we are on our horses.After the horses, we again walked around town. In the other stops, we saw only 1"slug bug" and it was on a billboard (though I dispute that it was a slug bug). In Mexico, Slug Bugs are about 25% of all the vehicles. Though we didn't see "Herbie," Andrea did see her name sake.
DAY 7: Time for HomeThe last day we spent sailing back to Texas. That night, we decided to wear our teeth to dinner.
Well, that was our trip. We had a lot of fun. Cruises are great, especially if you like to eat. Like me!
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