The Right Person at the Right Time at the Right Place

(Warning: Long Post)

That's the advice Mark's last mission president sent Mark home with.

I am soooooo glad that I waited for the right person to take me to the right place. I've thought a lot about that lately. I guess it's still weighing on my mind: how thankful I am to have Mark in my life.

A few years ago, I was in love with a guy named Richard. We talked a lot about getting married and raising a family. I went to Samoa to spend six weeks with him. I thought our future was going to be pretty great.

But....

But, his testimony was growing dimmer and dimmer. He got more and more lax about going to church. And his time was not spent in the service of the Lord, but in gratifying himself. I could also tell in his word and deed that his testimony was waning. It was disappointing.

One day, I finally took a good look at our relationship and realized his promises to get back to the temple to take me there were not going to happen. I realized he wasn't ready for me. Maybe he never would be - because he wasn't working toward that goal at all.

I broke up with him. It took me two years to get over him. He was my first love. He was a person who truly made me feel feminine and in many ways like I wanted to feel. I was excited and happy to have children with him. He treated me wonderfully. But there was no way I wanted to marry a man outside the temple, especially when I didn't know for sure if he ever would take me there.

Mark and I have talked a lot about us (Mark and me). We have talked about how good it felt (and continues to feel) that we were able to decide to get married and just call the temple up to set our sealing appointment. We talk about how great it is to go to the temple together now and be together in the Lord's house. We talk about how some day, our kids will be glad that we've tried so hard to set up the best life for them that we can.

The right person at the right time at the right place.

Mark has a friend right now who is engaged. She is so happy and in love. She is a returned missionary. Her fiance took the discussions--or some of them. But, now, he's decided that he doesn't really want anything to do with the church.

Mark is concerned about this friend, and I am too. Boy, do I know how exciting it is to be loved and to be talking about marriage. But, I also know how despairingly sad it is to know you won't be marrying that man in the temple, getting the promises of all eternity with him.

My recommendation: don't marry him. It would be miserable to be married to a man whom you love, and yet be forever uncertain about your union.

Her family is apparently supportive because they love her so much. But, they're all worried too.

Mark and I have talked about how marrying someone who doesn't want a thing to do with your religion is giving up a huge part of who you are. You won't be able to share everything fully with them. Your marriage will not be as gratifying. You're giving up on a dream you've most likely always had. You aren't fulfilling your full potential. It will most likely lead to conflict and confusion.

Anyway....

I also have another friend who got married outside the temple. But, she and her husband continue to go to church and are looking forward, with happy hearts, to the day they can go to the temple together. She tells me about who she is going to invite. She tells me about promptings she receives about their future. She tells me about how she is so glad that she waited for the right person. And for her and her husband, it was the right time due to other circumstances. The right person at the right time. Together, they're going to go to the right place.

It's rather exciting. And I'm so happy for that day when it comes for her.

Last Thursday at Young Women, I bore my testimony to the girls about this. In Mormonland, Mark and I were both older than most when we got married. But, looking back at our lives, we wouldn't have changed it. We married the right person at the right time at the right place. And both of us are so incredibly happy and satisfied that we did.