This morning, my friend sent me an email about ladies' public bathrooms. (Here it is posted online for your convenience.) I laughed...because in so many ways, it's true.
Any way, it got me reminiscing about going into a bathroom and finding out - only too late - that there is no toilet paper.
A few years ago, when I was still an undergraduate student at BYU, I was in a performing group called Multicultural Student Organization. (This does not exist any more.) Any way, our group went to California on tour in the spring one year. We were divided into groups of two to six students and hosted by an LDS family in the area.
So, the host family met us at the pick-up and took us straight home. It wasn't a very long ride, but I was so looking forward to getting "home" and relieving myself. So, first thing, I ask if I can use their bathroom. They tell me, "First door on the left."
I did my business, only to realize I didn't see any toilet paper. I mean, none.
I'm thinking, "OK, I'm in a family's house. They have to have toilet paper under the sink. I will be the nice person and refill the tp holder." No luck. No tp under the sink. No tp on the toilet tank. No tissue on the counter. No tissue on the toilet. Nothing. There is NOTHING to wipe myself with. Nothing.
What do I do?
I check everything again.
No tp.
I give up.
"HELP!"
Yes, I had to hollar for help at a stranger's house - for toilet paper. Hahahah!!!!! And, I really did have to yell, because the family and my buddy were all on the other side of the house. Zoiks...
That was awesome. :-D
Do you have any funny "no toilet paper" stories?
14 comments:
I have often thought somebody should do a short movie about the struggles of using a public restroom. My issue is this:
So you enter the stall and decide to use the paper seat covers. You pull one out and try to detach the 2 or 3 spots where the cutout is still attached. It tears.
More carefully now, you try again. This time with success. But the question is, does the "tongue" of the protector go closest to the wall, or closest to the door. No matter how many times I do this (successfully and not), I never seem to remember the trick. I lay it on the seat, and it immediately folds up and falls into the water.
One more time--carefully tearing the connections, reversing the direction, finally--it's on! Quickly you unbutton/zip/tuck and just before you sit down--WHOOSH. The automatic flush has stolen your hard work.
The final time (you hope), you decide to be ready. Pants down (praying nobody looks under or somehow gets the stall open) you begin again, get the protector on, and sit down.
If you're lucky, your troubles end there!
That is hilarious. I don't have any no toilet paper stories but I did get stuck in an airplane bathroom and had to bang and bang and get someone to come and unlock it (it was stuck). The whole plane I think knew about that one!
I don't have any stories about myself, but I do remember when I was young a nighbor girl coming over to borrow a roll of toilet paper because her mom was stuck on the john with nothing to wipe with.
So has Mark told you yet what empty tp rolls were called in our house growing up? That in and of itself is a funny bathroom story. However, it has to be told in person, rather than over the computer since it involves singing.
I have a really good no TP story involving chinese money, socks, and more... ask me about it someday--it's not appropriate for eternal preservation on the Internet.
hmm, seems like in Africa we didn't have much in terms of toilet paper. They had some blue stuff that was definitely not Charmin. I brought my own. But on some days I had to tear apart the layers of the tp roll or sometimes you gotta just air dry.
Andrea, Thanks for the prayers, it really means a lot to me and my family.
Bathrooms in China are TERRIBLE!!! They usually don't provide toilet paper...luckily I had heard that and we took some with us. Have you ever used a squatter??? Neither have I--I refused!!! At tourist places they might have one sitter and I'd wait in a line no matter how long it was. Luckily our hotels were modern.
I'm 5'8" and in one bathroom in Mexico there wasn't much stall to cover me while I sat on a toilet that was so wobbly I about fell off it!
Hilarious! When I was on my mission, I had the sudden urge to use a bathroom. I had the cold sweats and everything! My companion and I searched and searched and finally found a bathroom. It wasn't until after I was through that I noticed there wasn't any TP. Luckily for me, my companion went around asking strangers if they had any toilet paper. I can now see why missionaries travel in pairs!
I don't have any bathroom stories! Maybe one day....
I think I remember you telling us that after it happened. Didn't they leave a note for you on the TP the next time you went? Or am I thinking of another person...That's too bad the multi-cult...group is no longer. That seemed like a great missionary tool.
Oh no! LOL! That is so funny! I mean really...who doesn't put the toilet paper under the sink!? That is one thing I double check to make sure is stocked.
Typically if there isn't TP--I try the man's "shake it off" method. It doesn't quite work the same, being that I don't have certain parts, but it works better than nothing. But that's only if I go #1. If #2 came out, well that's a whole other story. Anyway, that was one high quality story Andrea! I love it!
Ha ha ha! This is so funny! I'm laughing while picturing you huddled over yelling for help. I'm guessing the drip-dry or shake-and-dry methods were not options in this case.
p.s. To Emily:
I have had the same difficulty with toilet seat covers. I finally discovered completely ripping the "tongue" off was the best thing to do. Although you have to be careful and rip straight across or you'll rip too much off and have to start over again. I have found the complete de-tonguing is definitely the best way to go.
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