Spring General Conference 2012

I loved General Conference this year. That is, the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

For me, there were there main themes.

1. Strengthen your family. By strengthening your family, you will strengthen everything else in your life. Things may not be perfect, but they aren't supposed to be. However, by strengthening your family, you will have a desire to be a better person yourself; you will have a desire to help those around you without being cynical; and you will not only "want" the best for your children, you will seek ways to achieve the best for your children.

2. Seek the Holy Ghost as your companion and listen to Him. We have been given an amazing gift from Heavenly Father: the Holy Ghost. He will let us know the truth of all things. He will help us when we seek personal revelation. And, He will help us to achieve good things, including all things regarding our families (see #1 above).

3. Share your testimony including with those who are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This should be a natural sharing of the Gospel. And, it should especially be shared with those close to us, like family members (see #1 above). The Holy Ghost can help us know the right things to say (see #2 above). And by sharing our testimonies, we will strengthen our own testimonies.

Yah, I have already shared my testimony with one wonderful friend. I invited him to know more if he would like to. I don't know if he will ever accept the invitation, but he knows now that I am not just willing to talk to him about it, but anxious (in a good way) for him to know more.

During a lot of General Conferences, we all get excited about the announcement of new temples to be built. Well, my most exciting moment of Conference was when the name "Larry EchoHawk" was put before the membership for a sustaining vote to make him a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy. I love "Professor" EchoHawk. I have known about him since my undergraduate years at BYU, and I have personally known him since my law school days. I have maintained a cordial relationship with him through the years and was very proud of him when he took the office as the Director of the BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs).

Elder EchoHawk is only the second Native American to be in one of these worldwide leadership positions. The left the church. Elder EchoHawk has, as far as I am aware, has led and will continue to lead a virtuous life. One friend said it this way, "Big loss for the BIA... Huge gain for the church. Such a good man!!!"

I am so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that I have a Living Savior. I know that I can live with my family again. I know that Heavenly Father loves me.

Crying Baby

First of all, I didn't have the greatest day. Let's just get that out in the open.

But, tonight, our bedtime routine was satisfactory and normal. It is now 11:25. I am sitting in the dark living room. Emma is on the floor--crying. I simply don't know what to do for her.

We were in bed with the lights off at 10:45. We heard Zachary in the other room coughing. He is suffering from allergies. They make him cough. We give him Claritan every day. It only slightly improves his night coughing. Coughing too much makes Zachary throw up.

Zachary threw up.

Because he threw up, Mark and I went into "clean up" mode together.

However, Zachary and Emma share a room. So, our busy-ness woke Emma. That, and Zachary was crying.

Emma is still crying. She won't let me hold her. And she cries more when I put her down. She has been this way her whole life. She is NOT a cuddly baby. It makes for a lot of confusion and frustration on my part. I do not know how to comfort her when she refuses to let me comfort her.

*sigh*

Thank Heavens Zachary is back to sleep.

Emma's "Belly Button"

The Surgery
Emma got a gastrostomy tube, a "button," placed on December 21, 2011, at Primary Children's. Poor little girl was starving by the time they finally took her back. I have to admit that it's been so long since I posted on here that I have forgotten many of the details--but I'll do my best to remember them.

While we were in the surgery waiting room, we saw our surgeon take a much older child back to surgery. I thought that they took the babies first since babies must eat more often than older children. So, not exactly sure why that kid went first.

Anyway, Emma's surgeon went exactly as planned. Her surgery took about an hour. Her button was placed a lot higher in her abdomen than I anticipated, but it hasn't been a problem. It's right below and to the left of her xiphoid process.

I posted on Facebook, "I feel sad." I did. I still feel sad about it some days. Sad? Well, yes, sad because it had to come to this. I'm sad that Emma had to have a painful surgery. I'm sad that I haven't been able to help her as much as I would have liked. Just sad. It's hard.

G-button Problems
There haven't really been many problems with Emma's button. We put some steroid on it most of the time because she has what is called granulation. It totally freaked me out the first time I noticed it. The nurses at PCMC taught us to watch out for it. But, we keep it in check most of the time.

There isn't that much of a problem with leaking. We put a gauze on it every day. But, that's just so the ooze doesn't get on her shirt.

The other problem has been the occasional "detachment" of the night pump bag from her tube. The first time it happened, she woke up about 4:00 in the morning crying. She rarely wakes up in the middle of the night--not since she first got her ng-tube. But, she woke up starving, soaking wet, and cold. Poor girl. I didn't attach her tubes correctly.


Since the Surgery
The first week after the surgery was a kind of honeymoon. Emma ate! She ate and she ate and she kept it down! I was like, "Why on earth didn't we do this sooner!?!" We're pretty sure she was happier to eat because the ng-tube was no longer gagging her all the time. It wasn't triggering her gag reflex. So, eating became easier and with less vomiting, more enjoyable.

The second week following surgery, Emma did okay. She started throwing up a little bit. But, nothing like she previously did. And, I was able to increase her volume a little bit.

After that second week, Emma started fighting again. Not like the fights we previously had (I don't fight her like that since I know she aspirates), but she would refuse and I started getting sad again.

I've come to terms with it. She just doesn't like to eat, sometimes she aspirates, and sometimes she gets worn out (yes, even though she isn't an infant she gets worn out). So, I just tube it. That's the point of the g-button, after all.

But, that, in itself, can be depressing some days. I don't want to have to tube feed my baby forever.

We have an early intervention group coming to our home to help us with feeding. We offer Emma different items to eat. We give her the spoon sometimes. We let her play in her food. We encourage her to put things in her mouth--food and non-food items.

Since December, I've been able to increase Emma's volume quite significantly (for Emma, that it). In a 24-hour period, we are now giving her about 3.5 more ounces that in December. Yay! That makes me happy. I would say most of this increase has come in the last month, since she started crawling. Yay!

For a while she started vomiting again. But, that has subsided (except for sometimes at night, yuck). And even when she was vomiting again, it was never as bad as it used to be. Mostly, she would up-chuck when she stuck something too far in her mouth.

So, yes, I am grateful my little Emma has a g-button. One day we'll get rid of it.

Christmas Card 2011

Christmas Letter 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas! I hope you and yours are having a Merry Christmas as well.

Here is a recap of our 2011 year.

• Mark has continued to serve as our bishop. I’ve often been asked about how I feel about it. I don’t mind it at all. He has not only done well in this calling, but he has prioritized us, his family, before the calling. What more could a girl ask for?
• Mark has also continued to serve in the community as a small claims judge. He is making a reputation for fairness and trust. He starts each session with a light-hearted question that everyone in the room must answer. These questions could be anything from “What is your favorite cookie” to “What is your favorite holiday movie”. The court staff look forward to his time on the bench.
• Zachary is my favorite two-year-old boy. I can’t help but be a proud mama. He knows the whole alphabet: he can say it by himself and he recognizes all the letters, both upper and lower case. He can count to 12 by himself and is learning up to 20. He knows colors and shapes—including diamonds, pentagons, and hexagons. Yes, I’m proud.
• Zachary did have us concerned for a while regarding his language skills. When he turned two, he wasn’t even putting two-word sentences together. In the past three months his language skills have exploded. We are so glad he is talking and describing things now. In fact, there are some days I have wondered if he is trying, as a two-year-old, to wear my name out.
• We also discovered—the hard way—that Zachary has allergies. This has changed our lives. But, it also explains why he never liked peanut butter sandwiches.
• Emma Pearl was born in April. She is now eight-months-old. She’s little. And, she has been to the doctor more times in the past eight months than I have in the past ten years. Emma was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis (NF1). She was also born with an airway problem, unrelated to the NF1, called laryngomalacia.
• Emma’s first surgery was when she was six weeks old. She had her airway opened up. Emma’s second surgery, tomorrow, December 21, will be to put a feeding tube (g-tube) directly into her stomach from the outside. For quite a few months, Emma has had a feeding tube (ng-tube) going into her nose, down her throat, and into her tummy. She just has had such a problem growing that we’ve had to literally force-feed her.
• Emma is the most beautiful baby girl. Sometimes I just stare at her and drink her beauty in. Am I vain? Well, I guess so. And when she gives a real smile? Wow.
• Me? Well, I have been taking children to doctor’s appointments. Unfortunately, Mark was almost correct when he said, “If you didn’t have doctor’s appointments, you wouldn’t have a social life.”
• I have also been serving as the fourth Sunday Relief Society teacher. That’s the Ensign teacher. I love it! I also love serving as the ward sacrament meeting bulletin creator. I try to put a joke in the program each week—just for kicks and giggles.

I pulled out our Christmas decorations on December 1. I love that I have four nativity sets. As I looked around our living room, it made me feel grateful that my Christmas decorating focuses on the Savior. I want to teach my children that Christmas truly is about the Savior. I want my friends to know that I have a testimony of the Plan of Happiness. I want to share the joy of knowing Jesus Christ.

This year has been hard on the nerves. But, it has been great for my testimony. With all our trials, the phrase “Look Up!” has repeatedly been on my mind. Heavenly Father loves us. He loves you. He has been mindful of us and He wants us to be mindful of Him.

May you have peace, joy, and happiness this Holiday Season and throughout the 2012 year!

Love, The Hales

Emma Is 8 Months

Emma is eight months old today. She has been a ton of work. But I am incredibly grateful for her. Some people say they can feel a person's spirit. I can't always. But I can feel Emma's. (Unless I am feeding/fighting her.) Emma is sweet, calm, beautiful--that is what her spirit feels like to me.

She learned to control her sitting this week. She can sit for ten or more minutes at a time. I am so proud of her.

On the other hand, she reminds me of Bambi on the ice when it comes to trying to get her up on her hands and knees. Crawling may still be a while.

This December she will have been under general anesthesia three times. The first time was to do an MRI on her abdomen. (Everything was normal.) The second time was to do a scope on her stomach and upper intestines. (Everything was normal.) We also spent a whole day with an "impedance" probe to find out about reflux. (I will blog more later.) The third time will be in one week when Emma gets a g-tube placed.

Emma is still hanging out in size 3-6 month clothes. We are definitely getting good use of them.

Oh, and I am a rock star: I have pumped for Emma this whole time. I am quitting soon. Soon.

What do you like about the day?

Every night I ask Zach what he liked about the day.  I have always listed things he did that day and he would say, "yeah."  But last night, when I asked him, "What did you like about this day?" he immediately said, "hot cereal," which he ate for breakfast.  I was shocked and asked, "what else did you like?"  He then said "beans." I kept asking him and he kept saying, "black beans," "red beans," "cookie," Herbie," "Black Herbie," and "White Herbie."

I was so proud of him.

Cuddle Bunnies

So, our bedtime routine is lovely. We change diapers and put pajamas on. Then we read a story. Then we sing a few fun songs followed by some nice Primary songs. Then we say family prayer.

Mark finishes with Zachary. He tucks Zach in and talks about the day. Finally Mark either sings another song or tells another story. I love listening.

While they are doing that, I put Emma's nasal cannula on and start getting her night bag of milk ready.

When Zachary was a baby, I used to nurse him one last time and then hold him and rock him for a while. Emma does not like me to rock her. She is not a cuddle bunny the same way Zachary is. It kind of makes me sad. But I do love our face-to-face time getting ready for bed, she's my lovey bunny.

I love my babies, my cuddle bunnies or whatever you want to call them.