That's how it started: with a snicker. And then it got bigger - to a chuckle. Then it finally exploded into a full laugh.
I was supposed to be reverent.
What happened? Mark was saying our family prayer last night, and he said, "Thank you that we're helpy and hap...helpy and...HEALTHY and happy...."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Laurie Berkner Band
When I was in American Samoa I borrowed a friend's Xbox while they were in the States for a few months (Yes, when you live there you take vacations for months). In the Xbox, was a Laurie Berkner Band DVD. I watched it and loved her music. I like this music because I know how fun it would be for kids to listen to the music, and that makes me happy
Here are a few clips from that DVD
Moon, Moon, Moon
I'm going to catch ya!
Victor Vito
Pig on her head
Here are a few clips from that DVD
Moon, Moon, Moon
I'm going to catch ya!
Victor Vito
Pig on her head
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
What I loved about American Samoa
Here is a video I made for my lecture to the BYU law school last year (before I quit and moved back to Utah)
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Why American Samoa is still screwed up
My friend and former co-worker, Moi Masaniai was fired for filing too many criminal charges against governmental employees. This is horrible.
Here is the article:
AG sacks lawyer who filed charges in alleged CI scam
by La Poasa
Samoa News Staff
Moi Masaniai, the assistant attorney general who was behind the move to file criminal charges against four employees of the Attorney General's Office last week, was given a notice of termination yesterday afternoon, government sources said.
Attorney General Fepulea'i Afa Ripley Jr., who recently returned to the island and apparently - according to government sources - was not made aware of the filing of the criminal case in the CI scam, was not available for comment yesterday.
Calls to his office and an e-mail message requesting comment sent yesterday evening were not immediately returned.
When contacted yesterday, Masaniai declined to comment, noting that it was at the advice of his lawyer.
The filing of the criminal case against four AG's Office employees in connection with an alleged ongoing scam involving Certificate of Identity fees - without the AG and also then acting AG's knowledge - was, according to government sources, the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.
Prior to this, the working relationship between the two men was already strained, government sources say.
Under the standard government two-year contract (that government attorneys, like Masaniai, sign with ASG), there is a provision that allows for a 'no cause' termination provided that the employee is given a 30-day notice. This is apparently the situation in Masaniai's case.
Masaniai has been prosecuting some 'out of the ordinary' cases including the charge against three other AG's Office employees last year, two of whom work at the Immigration Office and have been implicated in forging Immigration-related documents.
Reportedly, the FBI is not pleased with the news of Masaniai's departure considering his good working relationship with the Bureau.
Regarding the four employees recently charged, one of them has resigned while the other three have been re-assigned to other divisions of the AG's Office.
Reportedly, Fepulea'i briefed government directors about this case during yesterday's cabinet meeting.
If it was not for this, I would not have lasted 1 week.
Here is the article:
AG sacks lawyer who filed charges in alleged CI scam
by La Poasa
Samoa News Staff
Moi Masaniai, the assistant attorney general who was behind the move to file criminal charges against four employees of the Attorney General's Office last week, was given a notice of termination yesterday afternoon, government sources said.
Attorney General Fepulea'i Afa Ripley Jr., who recently returned to the island and apparently - according to government sources - was not made aware of the filing of the criminal case in the CI scam, was not available for comment yesterday.
Calls to his office and an e-mail message requesting comment sent yesterday evening were not immediately returned.
When contacted yesterday, Masaniai declined to comment, noting that it was at the advice of his lawyer.
The filing of the criminal case against four AG's Office employees in connection with an alleged ongoing scam involving Certificate of Identity fees - without the AG and also then acting AG's knowledge - was, according to government sources, the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.
Prior to this, the working relationship between the two men was already strained, government sources say.
Under the standard government two-year contract (that government attorneys, like Masaniai, sign with ASG), there is a provision that allows for a 'no cause' termination provided that the employee is given a 30-day notice. This is apparently the situation in Masaniai's case.
Masaniai has been prosecuting some 'out of the ordinary' cases including the charge against three other AG's Office employees last year, two of whom work at the Immigration Office and have been implicated in forging Immigration-related documents.
Reportedly, the FBI is not pleased with the news of Masaniai's departure considering his good working relationship with the Bureau.
Regarding the four employees recently charged, one of them has resigned while the other three have been re-assigned to other divisions of the AG's Office.
Reportedly, Fepulea'i briefed government directors about this case during yesterday's cabinet meeting.
If it was not for this, I would not have lasted 1 week.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
A Funny Bathroom Memory
This morning, my friend sent me an email about ladies' public bathrooms. (Here it is posted online for your convenience.) I laughed...because in so many ways, it's true.
Any way, it got me reminiscing about going into a bathroom and finding out - only too late - that there is no toilet paper.
A few years ago, when I was still an undergraduate student at BYU, I was in a performing group called Multicultural Student Organization. (This does not exist any more.) Any way, our group went to California on tour in the spring one year. We were divided into groups of two to six students and hosted by an LDS family in the area.
So, the host family met us at the pick-up and took us straight home. It wasn't a very long ride, but I was so looking forward to getting "home" and relieving myself. So, first thing, I ask if I can use their bathroom. They tell me, "First door on the left."
I did my business, only to realize I didn't see any toilet paper. I mean, none.
I'm thinking, "OK, I'm in a family's house. They have to have toilet paper under the sink. I will be the nice person and refill the tp holder." No luck. No tp under the sink. No tp on the toilet tank. No tissue on the counter. No tissue on the toilet. Nothing. There is NOTHING to wipe myself with. Nothing.
What do I do?
I check everything again.
No tp.
I give up.
"HELP!"
Yes, I had to hollar for help at a stranger's house - for toilet paper. Hahahah!!!!! And, I really did have to yell, because the family and my buddy were all on the other side of the house. Zoiks...
That was awesome. :-D
Do you have any funny "no toilet paper" stories?
Any way, it got me reminiscing about going into a bathroom and finding out - only too late - that there is no toilet paper.
A few years ago, when I was still an undergraduate student at BYU, I was in a performing group called Multicultural Student Organization. (This does not exist any more.) Any way, our group went to California on tour in the spring one year. We were divided into groups of two to six students and hosted by an LDS family in the area.
So, the host family met us at the pick-up and took us straight home. It wasn't a very long ride, but I was so looking forward to getting "home" and relieving myself. So, first thing, I ask if I can use their bathroom. They tell me, "First door on the left."
I did my business, only to realize I didn't see any toilet paper. I mean, none.
I'm thinking, "OK, I'm in a family's house. They have to have toilet paper under the sink. I will be the nice person and refill the tp holder." No luck. No tp under the sink. No tp on the toilet tank. No tissue on the counter. No tissue on the toilet. Nothing. There is NOTHING to wipe myself with. Nothing.
What do I do?
I check everything again.
No tp.
I give up.
"HELP!"
Yes, I had to hollar for help at a stranger's house - for toilet paper. Hahahah!!!!! And, I really did have to yell, because the family and my buddy were all on the other side of the house. Zoiks...
That was awesome. :-D
Do you have any funny "no toilet paper" stories?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Save Gas, Drive Naked
I have that quote on my Gmail instant messenger, and I am getting a lot of questions about it. A few weeks ago, Glenn Beck wrote an article proposing that as a solution to save gas in response to Obama saying fill our tires. Here is the article for your reviewing pleasure.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Call our politicians and tell them to stay on vacation. Call the caribou roaming in Alaska and tell them they're safe. Call the Saudi king and tell him what you really think of his oil.
I, Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic rodeo clown, have come up with a solution to America's energy crisis...and you're wearing it.
Look at yourself right now. You've probably got on a shirt, socks, shoes, jewelry, maybe even some pants. Do you have any idea how much all of that weighs?
If people really loved America, they would strip down, leave their clothes at home, and drive around buck naked. That would decrease the weight of our cars, which would increase our gas mileage so dramatically that we probably wouldn't have to drill for any new oil!
Genius, right?
Of course, my idea has about as much of a chance to make a real difference in our energy crisis as the suggestion that Barack Obama recently made.
"Making sure your tires are properly inflated, simple thing," Obama said. "But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much."
When The Associated Press asked Obama's campaign for the figures they used to make that claim, they couldn't produce any -- but plenty of other people have.
It turns out that about two-thirds of vehicles already have properly inflated tires. That means we'd likely save somewhere around 800,000 barrels of oil a day if everyone else also complied. Meanwhile, the U.S. Minerals Management Service estimates that there are about 86 billion barrels of oil in the areas that we're not allowed to drill. You do the math.
But, facts aside, Obama seemed to be stunned that Republicans would dare ridicule an idea as revolutionary as checking your tire pressure. "They're making fun of a step that every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption," he complained.
No, what they're making fun of is that a guy who, less than two months earlier, was against the gas tax holiday because it was a "gimmick," has suddenly embraced what is essentially a gimmick.
No one, including John McCain, disputes that keeping your tires inflated will help you get better gas mileage. But so will emptying your trunk, buying a hybrid, not using the heat, and driving naked. The point is that none of those things are solutions; they're unsustainable gimmicks that distract people from solving the underlying crisis. They're also exactly the type of things that Obama once claimed he was against.
But, of course, the adoring mainstream media doesn't want to talk about that, they just want to defend Obama's honor.
Michael Grunwald recently wrote an article titled, "The Tire-Gauge Solution: No Joke," that probably would've been harsher on Obama if it was written by Barack himself. It's more love-sonnet than journalism.
"Meanwhile," he wrote, "efficiency experts say that keeping tires inflated can improve gas mileage 3 percent and regular maintenance can add another 4 percent. Many drivers already follow their advice, but if everyone did, we could immediately reduce demand several percentage points. In other words: Obama is right."
Of course he's right; he's Barack Obama, savior of the universe! But one phrase that he used deserves a little more attention: "but if everyone did."
"But if everyone" donated their organs then people wouldn't die waiting for them.
"But if everyone" ate only lettuce then our health care system would be fixed.
"But if everyone" just sent me one dollar then I'd retire with $300 million in the bank.
Of course, the reality is that people still die waiting for organs, obesity is an epidemic, and I'm still writing these columns. That's why saying "but if everyone did" is such a red herring.
Grunwald went on to suggest that perhaps we're just over-thinking this whole "energy crisis" thing. "It's a pretty simple concept," he wrote. "If our use of fossil fuels is increasing our reliance on Middle Eastern dictators while destroying the planet, maybe we ought to use less."
Welcome back to Fantasy Land. Saying "we ought to" is exactly the same as "but if everyone" -- a way to make a ridiculous point sound plausible. It's like saying: We ought to all live in peace and harmony. It's not that easy.
But let's follow his yellow brick road for a second anyway. If we all put on our Jimmy Carter sweaters and used less oil, we'd still need millions of barrels. How about making sure those barrels come from America by starting to drill for it now? We'll never be truly free until we're completely free from Middle Eastern oil.
Not surprisingly, drilling was nowhere to be found in the article, but Grunwald did include plenty of other, "simple" things we can do:
"We can use those twisty carbon fluorescent light bulbs. We can unplug our televisions, computers and phone chargers when we're not using them."
He's living in a dream world! Not only is unplugging a television not going to do a darn thing, it's annoying and almost no one in their right mind will ever, ever, ever, ever do it! Ever!
And finally, just in case you weren't yet sure if Grunwald's article was essentially a commercial for Obama, here's how he ended it:
"It's sad to see (McCain's) campaign adopting the politics of the tire gauge, promoting the fallacy that Americans are powerless to address their own energy problems. Because the truth is: Yes, we can..."
Hmm, let me think, where have I heard "Yes we can" before? Ohhh, that's right, it's what Obama supporters chant at his speeches.
Is Obama's energy policy solely based on tire gauges? No. But can we criticize him for embracing the same kind of gimmicky stall tactics that have gotten us to this place?
Yes. Yes we can.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Call our politicians and tell them to stay on vacation. Call the caribou roaming in Alaska and tell them they're safe. Call the Saudi king and tell him what you really think of his oil.
I, Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic rodeo clown, have come up with a solution to America's energy crisis...and you're wearing it.
Look at yourself right now. You've probably got on a shirt, socks, shoes, jewelry, maybe even some pants. Do you have any idea how much all of that weighs?
If people really loved America, they would strip down, leave their clothes at home, and drive around buck naked. That would decrease the weight of our cars, which would increase our gas mileage so dramatically that we probably wouldn't have to drill for any new oil!
Genius, right?
Of course, my idea has about as much of a chance to make a real difference in our energy crisis as the suggestion that Barack Obama recently made.
"Making sure your tires are properly inflated, simple thing," Obama said. "But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much."
When The Associated Press asked Obama's campaign for the figures they used to make that claim, they couldn't produce any -- but plenty of other people have.
It turns out that about two-thirds of vehicles already have properly inflated tires. That means we'd likely save somewhere around 800,000 barrels of oil a day if everyone else also complied. Meanwhile, the U.S. Minerals Management Service estimates that there are about 86 billion barrels of oil in the areas that we're not allowed to drill. You do the math.
But, facts aside, Obama seemed to be stunned that Republicans would dare ridicule an idea as revolutionary as checking your tire pressure. "They're making fun of a step that every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption," he complained.
No, what they're making fun of is that a guy who, less than two months earlier, was against the gas tax holiday because it was a "gimmick," has suddenly embraced what is essentially a gimmick.
No one, including John McCain, disputes that keeping your tires inflated will help you get better gas mileage. But so will emptying your trunk, buying a hybrid, not using the heat, and driving naked. The point is that none of those things are solutions; they're unsustainable gimmicks that distract people from solving the underlying crisis. They're also exactly the type of things that Obama once claimed he was against.
But, of course, the adoring mainstream media doesn't want to talk about that, they just want to defend Obama's honor.
Michael Grunwald recently wrote an article titled, "The Tire-Gauge Solution: No Joke," that probably would've been harsher on Obama if it was written by Barack himself. It's more love-sonnet than journalism.
"Meanwhile," he wrote, "efficiency experts say that keeping tires inflated can improve gas mileage 3 percent and regular maintenance can add another 4 percent. Many drivers already follow their advice, but if everyone did, we could immediately reduce demand several percentage points. In other words: Obama is right."
Of course he's right; he's Barack Obama, savior of the universe! But one phrase that he used deserves a little more attention: "but if everyone did."
"But if everyone" donated their organs then people wouldn't die waiting for them.
"But if everyone" ate only lettuce then our health care system would be fixed.
"But if everyone" just sent me one dollar then I'd retire with $300 million in the bank.
Of course, the reality is that people still die waiting for organs, obesity is an epidemic, and I'm still writing these columns. That's why saying "but if everyone did" is such a red herring.
Grunwald went on to suggest that perhaps we're just over-thinking this whole "energy crisis" thing. "It's a pretty simple concept," he wrote. "If our use of fossil fuels is increasing our reliance on Middle Eastern dictators while destroying the planet, maybe we ought to use less."
Welcome back to Fantasy Land. Saying "we ought to" is exactly the same as "but if everyone" -- a way to make a ridiculous point sound plausible. It's like saying: We ought to all live in peace and harmony. It's not that easy.
But let's follow his yellow brick road for a second anyway. If we all put on our Jimmy Carter sweaters and used less oil, we'd still need millions of barrels. How about making sure those barrels come from America by starting to drill for it now? We'll never be truly free until we're completely free from Middle Eastern oil.
Not surprisingly, drilling was nowhere to be found in the article, but Grunwald did include plenty of other, "simple" things we can do:
"We can use those twisty carbon fluorescent light bulbs. We can unplug our televisions, computers and phone chargers when we're not using them."
He's living in a dream world! Not only is unplugging a television not going to do a darn thing, it's annoying and almost no one in their right mind will ever, ever, ever, ever do it! Ever!
And finally, just in case you weren't yet sure if Grunwald's article was essentially a commercial for Obama, here's how he ended it:
"It's sad to see (McCain's) campaign adopting the politics of the tire gauge, promoting the fallacy that Americans are powerless to address their own energy problems. Because the truth is: Yes, we can..."
Hmm, let me think, where have I heard "Yes we can" before? Ohhh, that's right, it's what Obama supporters chant at his speeches.
Is Obama's energy policy solely based on tire gauges? No. But can we criticize him for embracing the same kind of gimmicky stall tactics that have gotten us to this place?
Yes. Yes we can.
Update
Andrea previously posted about me taking my motorcycle training classes. To update, I took the state written test (which is really easy) a few weeks ago and the road retest on Saturday using Andrea's brother, Jarom's, Honda Magnum 750 cc. I passed the test (there were some riders that couldn't ride and still passed) and I went got my full endorsement today. So, anybody know a good deal on a fun bike?
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