Monday, July 20, 2015
Monday, October 13, 2014
Hales Family Taste Testing
I remember as a child doing a taste testing for Family Home Evening. So, today, that is what I did for our activity.
We tested between a name brand and Wal-Mart's Great Value in chips, cheese crackers, vanilla waffer cookies and root beer.
So, Andrea and the kids were blind folded and tasted both options.
After all the food was eaten the winner on almost all of the items was Great Value. Andrea liked the Nilla Waffers better, but the rest of us like Wal-Mart.
It was a good-time and combined the activity and snacks for FHE>
We tested between a name brand and Wal-Mart's Great Value in chips, cheese crackers, vanilla waffer cookies and root beer.
So, Andrea and the kids were blind folded and tasted both options.
After all the food was eaten the winner on almost all of the items was Great Value. Andrea liked the Nilla Waffers better, but the rest of us like Wal-Mart.
It was a good-time and combined the activity and snacks for FHE>
Monday, October 06, 2014
Thursday, August 07, 2014
When Love Fails...look to God
I came up with the advertising phrase "When love fails, call attorney Mark Hales." (I also use as an alternative, "When the condom fails, call attorney Mark Hales." I think these are funny and clever, especially here in Utah.)
Some days it is hard to be a divorce lawyer due to all the drama. Today, I was approached by a former client's mother who asked me how I maintain my faith in God while I work as a divorce lawyer. She was struggling because of all of the drama of her son's case.
I told her that being a divorce attorney has actually strengthened my faith. She was a little shocked by this. I said that being by a divorce lawyer I see the general patterns of divorcing couples compared to those that are not getting divorced.
What have I learned over years as a divorce lawyer? I have learned that people get divorced because they are unhappy. Yes, I know that is shocking. For the past 7 years, I have not had any client (or prospective client) want a divorce who was happy in his marriage. From my observations these couples are unhappy because they are not following God's instructions in how to have a happy marriage.
God has provided marriage principles because the "the Family is ordained of God." We come from an eternal family and come to earth to create a family so that we can live eternally as a family. For eternal families to work it must be based on "a marriage between man and woman" so that children receive their entitled right to be born "within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."
Because family is essential to God's "work and glory" in bringing about the "exaltation and eternal life" of each person (Moses 1:39) he wants us to each have a happy marriage. God has told to have a happy marriage we keep his commandments. "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." Specifically, "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
There has not been any person I have met, man or woman, that has wanted a divorce when they followed these basic principles of happiness. If these principles are not followed, then people become prideful and no longer feel "obligated to help one another as equal partners."
On the other hand, when couples love and serve each other, maintain faith in each other and in God, study the scriptures together, pray together, forgive each other, work together side-by-side as equals, and continue to court each other their marriage will be preserved and grow exponentially.
So, no, ma'am, I have not lost my faith by being a divorce lawyer. In actuality, my faith in God has grown.
(All quotes found from The Family: A Proclaim to the World)
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Happy Anniversary
We have been married for 6 years.
Each year I have put together a video of the past year. Here is year 6
To remind you, here is wedding video
And the past 5 years of videos
Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5
Each year I have put together a video of the past year. Here is year 6
To remind you, here is wedding video
And the past 5 years of videos
Year 1
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Stationery Card
My Name Boy Birth Announcement
Find 100's of cute birth announcements at Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.
Sunday, March 03, 2013
Quinton's Newborn Pictures
February 26, 2013, Tuesday
We got up and went to have pictures taken! That’s right. A
family picture. I bought a gift certificate to a photography place called
FotoFly about a month ago. They give you a 45-minute photography session, then
they edit them within an hour, and then you get a CD with the edited images and
the rights to the photos. I wanted newborn pictures of Quinton. And, a new
family picture too. So, that’s where we went.
I thought I looked okay. But, when we went back to see the pictures,
I was a little shocked to see my face so swollen. Sure, I still have plenty of
baby weight (the belly and such). But, my face was more swollen than at any
time during the pregnancy. I look weird in the pictures. At least, to me I look
weird. And I have a pet peeve when people say they look bad in pictures.
Quinton’s pictures all turned out so cute. Actually, our
family pictures turned out cute too, if you can overlook the swollen woman’s
swollen face. I’m so glad we got newborn pictures with each of our children.
They are kind of important to me.
I also made Mom sit down and get a couple pictures with
Quinton. When we went to review the pictures, these were the pictures that
actually made me tear up more than any of the sweet individual shots of
Quinton. My mom is so beautiful. Inside and out. I am so glad that she is my
mom..
To see the rest of our pictures, go to http://campfirebug.smugmug.com/Family/Quinton-Herbert-Hales-4-Days/.
A Little Bit of Quinton Heaven
February 24, 2013, Sunday
Quinton slept pretty okay through the night. Not great, but
okay—considering how little he is. I woke him a couple times to feed and he
woke me a couple times to feed.
There is something magical about having Quinton in our home.
Of course, with Zachary, having a new baby was so exciting. But, when we had
Emma, I didn’t get to experience this little bit of “heaven” that Quinton has
brought. I was more concerned with Emma than enjoying her. I mean, the first
three weeks of her life, she was in the NICU. I did not have a good experience
with that. And when I brought her home, I was always concerned with her
breathing and force feeding her. If she brought heaven with her, I missed it.
But, Quinton—I could just hold him all the time if I didn’t
have other obligations (Zachary and Emma, for instance). He is so precious. He
is so sweet. He is so beautiful. He is so peaceful. He is so perfect. Of course
I love Zachary and Emma. But, it’s just different with Quinton. That’s fair to
say, right?
We talked Mom into going to church with Mark, Zachary, and
Emma. I’m glad that she did. It’s the first time she or Dad have been to our
ward here. I think she enjoyed it.
That evening, Cambrea Corbett and Jeri Johnson brought our
family dinner. So nice to have someone bring you dinner. In Parliament Park, we
didn’t get dinner after we had Emma for a week. I was actually feeling really
hurt, if the truth be told, because Mark was the bishop and we weren’t getting
any dinner help. So, to have meals already lined up after returning home with
Quinton was so—NICE.
Gas Pains in My Shoulder
February 23, 2013, Saturday
I’m pretty sure my insurance would normally let me have two
nights at the hospital. But, since I was doing pretty good and since Riverton
Hospital doesn’t typically accept Altius, I said I would go home Saturday. That
was the target.
I had to take a class in the morning in order to get
permission to be discharged. While I was taking it, Mark and the kids came to
the hospital.
After I finished with the class, Mark went out to the van to
monkey around with the carseats. He was gone a long time. In fact, by the time
he came back, I was having a meltdown. Zachary and Emma wouldn’t leave me
alone. They were being naughty. And—my shoulder started KILLING ME. No,
seriously.
I was already having some pretty bad after-labor pains. But,
this new pain in my left shoulder was so sudden and so freakish that I couldn’t
handle it. I was absolutely crying by the time Mark came back. Pain + naughty
kids = meltdown Mama.
When the CNA came in to check on me, I was just bawling. She
said she’d send the nurse in to give me some more pain meds. When the nurse
came in, she told me the pain in my shoulder was from GAS. GAS!!!! WHAT THE
FREAK? Gas? It still hasn’t gone away. (And I’m writing this on March 3.)
Apparently, it’s kind of “common” for surgical patients (i.e. c-section mamas).
But, I wasn’t a surgical/c-section mama. Weird……………….
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Introducing Quinton Herbert Hales
Thursday, February 21, 2013
I was having contractions most of the day. But, they were contractions like I’ve been having for a month or more. They didn’t hurt. They were occasional. And, there was nothing exciting about them.
But, I made it a point to go pick up the rocker/recliner that we purchased on Monday. On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to buy some snacks—even though I knew that the hospital would have food and snacks available for me. I just wanted to make sure I had some snacks that I would definitely enjoy. When Mark came home from work, he said, “You went to Walmart?” He was a little confused because he had just been shopping. But, I explained about the snacks.
The other thing that I finally finished on Thursday was my bag. I finally finished packing my overnight bag with everything that we don’t use on a daily or very-often basis. This included the new snacks I just bought.
Mark had a church basketball game at 10:00 pm. That’s right: 10:00 pm. He came home at 11:00 and was pretty wired—adrenaline and such. So, after reading scriptures together, he went out to the living room to read his book and I turned off the light and went to sleep.
Friday, February 22, 2013, Quinton’s Birth Story!
I woke up at 1:00 with a real contraction. I was surprised. A few minutes later, I had another. And then another. They were eight minutes, then five minutes, then ten minutes…and none of them were very long. I didn’t have to “breathe” through any of them. I actually fell back asleep after a while.
I woke up again about 2:00, I got up to go to the bathroom. I was having contractions more consistently. Mark got up from the couch and came into the room. I told him it was time to call Mindi, our neighbor a block away. Mark said his phone recorded that call at 2:08 am.
We hurried and gathered our stuff together. We unhooked Emma from her pump so she could get out of bed in the morning. We put everything in the truck. And we waited.
And waited.
I finally had Mark call Mindi again because the contractions were coming one right after the next. They were getting strong and painful. I was starting to get worried. This second phone call was 2:32 am.
I got in the truck. Mark backed it out into the driveway—then got out. (I’m still not sure why he got out.) He paced for another minute and Mindi finally showed up. She rolled down her window and she and Mark started chatting. I rolled down my window and said, “WE HAVE TO GO NOW!” So, we did.
As we were driving up the road, I told Mark, “I don’t know if we’re going to make it to Jordan Valley.” Mark said, “Really?” I said, “We’ll see. But, I don’t know.”
We neared the intersection on Bangerter where Walmart sits. The light was red. I studied the car across the intersection there and commanded Mark to run the red light. He was a little surprised. “RUN IT.” So, he did.
Then I told him, “We are not going to make it to Jordan Valley. We have to stop at Riverton.” Again, “Really?” “YES.”
So, we took the next intersection and turned into Riverton Hospital’s parking lot. We tried to follow signs to Labor and Delivery—but since I wasn’t planning on delivering there, I hadn’t found out where to go. In fact—I have already PAID for the hospital bill at Jordan Valley. Our insurance doesn’t even cover Riverton Hospital.
But, there is no way I wanted to deliver a baby in the truck, which is exactly what was going to happen because I actually felt like pushing IN THE TRUCK.
Yah, so we drove around the whole hospital looking for the Labor and Delivery signs. There were some—and then they disappeared. At this point, we were coming back up to the Emergency Room entrance. That’s where we went: to the ER.
Mark jumped out of the truck; I couldn’t because I was in the middle of another contraction. Mark ran into the ER only to find NO ONE WAS THERE! He turned back to me, looking panicked. I’m still frozen mid-motion in a contraction. Mark turned back to the desk, hoping to find a bell or a magic wand or a giant red button. Nothing.
My contraction let me out of gridlock and I was able to walk into the ER. As I walked in, someone came in from the back and saw two bewildered adults, one obviously in labor. “You’re in labor?” “Yes.” She took my name and date of birth. She called someone else to come take me to Labor and Delivery. I told them that we couldn’t make it to Jordan Valley because I felt like pushing in the truck.
The second lady helped me onto a wheelchair. Mark went back to the truck—I found out a minute or so later just to turn it off. However, I was a little panicked that he wouldn’t know how to find us.
The lady wheeled me down one long stretch of desks and turned into a long hallway. She was WALKING merrily along. In my head, I was screaming, “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME!?! I SAID I NEEDED TO PUSH IN THE TRUCK!!!” Then she pushed the button on an elevator. Thoughts, “AN ELEVATOR!?! A FREAKIN’ ELEVATOR!?! WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!!!” Also in my thoughts, “Oh no, Mark is really not going to find us!”
We get to the right floor and she wheels me down an even longer hall into the Labor and Delivery unit. A nurse is there waiting for us. The ER nurse leaves. That new nurse starts to wheel me into a triage room but when I tell her I felt like pushing in the truck, she said, “Let’s just go straight to a delivery room.” Good idea. But, we were there in the triage room just long enough for me to put down my purse and forget that I did.
We go to Delivery Room 5. There are three other nurses there, so four total. They help me strip down and put on a gown. There’s no way on earth I would have been able to do that with the contractions like they were. They help me onto the bed—flat on my back on the bed, very far away from the bottom of the bed where the stirrups (or whatever they call them) are.
I tell that I feel like pushing. But, the nurse who has taken charge asks if she can check me. I say, “Sure.” She wanted to wait for the next contraction, but changed my mind when I said I wanted to push. She checked while I was contracting and declared me at a “9.” In my mind, I thought, “Are you kidding? A ‘9’? No way…bull crap!”
And then the next contraction was there and I was pushing. That’s right—either she was insane or I was insane. Perhaps both of us. Because, I was pushing—and Baby started crowning.
The nurse asked me not to push, to just hold in a second. Ha! Right. I was pushing.
Out came Baby’s head. Again, the nurse asked me not to push. This time she gave a reason: because she was trying to help me not to tear down there. But, I had to push. This time, though, I was trying to not push as fast as I did with Baby’s head.
Somewhere in these few minutes of excitement and pushing, I let out five large roars of pain. I only remember letting out two roars with Emma. Mark commented how loud I was. So?
Regardless, out came Baby. Baby Boy! Mark announced it.
A baby boy. I said, “That’s what we guessed. We guessed boy.” The nurses were impressed we didn’t know beforehand the gender of the baby.
Then I started shaking. As in shock. I couldn’t stop shaking.
The nurse in charge had started putting information into the computer. She turned to the room and asked, “Did anyone get the birth time?” Mark said, “2:50.” None of the nurses, in all the excitement, had thought to get the time. Funny. It was seven minutes from the time we pulled in front of the ER to the time Baby was born. SEVEN MINUTES. Emma was born in 14 minutes from the time we parked in the garage.
A little while later, a doctor came in. She was one of my doctor’s colleagues. She told me Dr. Moreland lives far away and that she was the closest doctor to the hospital. This new doctor (I forget her name) delivered my placenta and sewed up my second degree tear.
Our boy weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. I was a little surprised. For some reason he looked bigger to me.
We started talking about names. From the moment I saw his beautiful face, he looked like the “Quinton Herbert” I liked so fondly. But, I tried not to push that name on Mark.
Mark called his mom and my parents.
My purse was no where to be found so we couldn’t give the nurses and hospital staff my ID and insurance information. Finally, we found it in the triage room.
February 22, 2013, The Rest of Quinton’s Birthday
I was tired. Sooo tired. I was also waiting for the natural high I experienced with Emma. I didn’t experience it in quite the same way. I guess you could say that I was able to be awake for pretty much the rest of the night, which is atypical since I value my sleep. But, I wasn’t giddy and giggly like I was when I delivered Emma.
They took me to a room of my own. They drugged me up. And, the rest of the day began: regular interruptions to check my uterus and bleeding; regular interruptions to check my vitals and Baby’s vitals; and regular interruptions to check my pain.
Gratefully, they never took Baby away from our room. They never required him to spend nursery time. They let me give me skin to skin. It was so nice.
Mark went home about 7:00. Mindi texted a little after 6:00 saying both Emma and Zachary were awake and confused. Totally understandable considering how little they are.
That morning, a pediatrician came in. He declared Baby as sound. Then Dr. Moreland, my doctor, came in. We had a chuckle about the delivery and that I was supposed to see her that morning on a regular visit. Then, a social worker came in.
“Normally I wouldn’t even come talk to you. There are no reasons—except…. You have Altius [Insurance].” “Yes.” “Did you know that we don’t take Altius?” “Yes.” “Then why are you here?” I told him the story, including the fact that it was seven minutes from door to delivery and the fact that the nurses delivered him—they didn’t even have time to get a hospital doctor there for delivery. He was happy to declare, “Oh good. You have a really good case. I don’t think the insurance will have a problem approving this. As soon as you get the bill, write your insurance an appeal letter. Considering this was an emergent care situation, they should approve it.” That was actually quite a relief to me—because I had been worrying about it from the time I told Mark to pull into Riverton’s parking lot.
Mark, Zachary, and Emma came to visit us about 11:00. They each got a picture with Baby.
Mark and I decided “Quinton Herbert” fit. Mark announced the name via Facebook a little after noon that day.
They went home and had naps. They came back later, about 7:00. Melanie and Marcus Ray came to visit us about the same time. Oh, how I love the Rays. I wish they were our neighbors.
Melanie called me later when they left. This is the conversation she reported to me:
Melanie: “Zachary, are you excited for Quinton to come live at your house?
Zachary: “Who?”
Melanie: “You know, Quinton, your baby brother, the baby who is with your mom.”
Zachary: “WHAT!?”
Melanie: “Yep, he’s going to go home tomorrow and live in your house.”
Silence for five to seven seconds….
Zachary: “OH MAN!”
I was having contractions most of the day. But, they were contractions like I’ve been having for a month or more. They didn’t hurt. They were occasional. And, there was nothing exciting about them.
But, I made it a point to go pick up the rocker/recliner that we purchased on Monday. On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to buy some snacks—even though I knew that the hospital would have food and snacks available for me. I just wanted to make sure I had some snacks that I would definitely enjoy. When Mark came home from work, he said, “You went to Walmart?” He was a little confused because he had just been shopping. But, I explained about the snacks.
The other thing that I finally finished on Thursday was my bag. I finally finished packing my overnight bag with everything that we don’t use on a daily or very-often basis. This included the new snacks I just bought.
Mark had a church basketball game at 10:00 pm. That’s right: 10:00 pm. He came home at 11:00 and was pretty wired—adrenaline and such. So, after reading scriptures together, he went out to the living room to read his book and I turned off the light and went to sleep.
Friday, February 22, 2013, Quinton’s Birth Story!
I woke up at 1:00 with a real contraction. I was surprised. A few minutes later, I had another. And then another. They were eight minutes, then five minutes, then ten minutes…and none of them were very long. I didn’t have to “breathe” through any of them. I actually fell back asleep after a while.
I woke up again about 2:00, I got up to go to the bathroom. I was having contractions more consistently. Mark got up from the couch and came into the room. I told him it was time to call Mindi, our neighbor a block away. Mark said his phone recorded that call at 2:08 am.
We hurried and gathered our stuff together. We unhooked Emma from her pump so she could get out of bed in the morning. We put everything in the truck. And we waited.
And waited.
I finally had Mark call Mindi again because the contractions were coming one right after the next. They were getting strong and painful. I was starting to get worried. This second phone call was 2:32 am.
I got in the truck. Mark backed it out into the driveway—then got out. (I’m still not sure why he got out.) He paced for another minute and Mindi finally showed up. She rolled down her window and she and Mark started chatting. I rolled down my window and said, “WE HAVE TO GO NOW!” So, we did.
As we were driving up the road, I told Mark, “I don’t know if we’re going to make it to Jordan Valley.” Mark said, “Really?” I said, “We’ll see. But, I don’t know.”
We neared the intersection on Bangerter where Walmart sits. The light was red. I studied the car across the intersection there and commanded Mark to run the red light. He was a little surprised. “RUN IT.” So, he did.
Then I told him, “We are not going to make it to Jordan Valley. We have to stop at Riverton.” Again, “Really?” “YES.”
So, we took the next intersection and turned into Riverton Hospital’s parking lot. We tried to follow signs to Labor and Delivery—but since I wasn’t planning on delivering there, I hadn’t found out where to go. In fact—I have already PAID for the hospital bill at Jordan Valley. Our insurance doesn’t even cover Riverton Hospital.
But, there is no way I wanted to deliver a baby in the truck, which is exactly what was going to happen because I actually felt like pushing IN THE TRUCK.
Yah, so we drove around the whole hospital looking for the Labor and Delivery signs. There were some—and then they disappeared. At this point, we were coming back up to the Emergency Room entrance. That’s where we went: to the ER.
Mark jumped out of the truck; I couldn’t because I was in the middle of another contraction. Mark ran into the ER only to find NO ONE WAS THERE! He turned back to me, looking panicked. I’m still frozen mid-motion in a contraction. Mark turned back to the desk, hoping to find a bell or a magic wand or a giant red button. Nothing.
My contraction let me out of gridlock and I was able to walk into the ER. As I walked in, someone came in from the back and saw two bewildered adults, one obviously in labor. “You’re in labor?” “Yes.” She took my name and date of birth. She called someone else to come take me to Labor and Delivery. I told them that we couldn’t make it to Jordan Valley because I felt like pushing in the truck.
The second lady helped me onto a wheelchair. Mark went back to the truck—I found out a minute or so later just to turn it off. However, I was a little panicked that he wouldn’t know how to find us.
The lady wheeled me down one long stretch of desks and turned into a long hallway. She was WALKING merrily along. In my head, I was screaming, “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME!?! I SAID I NEEDED TO PUSH IN THE TRUCK!!!” Then she pushed the button on an elevator. Thoughts, “AN ELEVATOR!?! A FREAKIN’ ELEVATOR!?! WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!!!” Also in my thoughts, “Oh no, Mark is really not going to find us!”
We get to the right floor and she wheels me down an even longer hall into the Labor and Delivery unit. A nurse is there waiting for us. The ER nurse leaves. That new nurse starts to wheel me into a triage room but when I tell her I felt like pushing in the truck, she said, “Let’s just go straight to a delivery room.” Good idea. But, we were there in the triage room just long enough for me to put down my purse and forget that I did.
We go to Delivery Room 5. There are three other nurses there, so four total. They help me strip down and put on a gown. There’s no way on earth I would have been able to do that with the contractions like they were. They help me onto the bed—flat on my back on the bed, very far away from the bottom of the bed where the stirrups (or whatever they call them) are.
I tell that I feel like pushing. But, the nurse who has taken charge asks if she can check me. I say, “Sure.” She wanted to wait for the next contraction, but changed my mind when I said I wanted to push. She checked while I was contracting and declared me at a “9.” In my mind, I thought, “Are you kidding? A ‘9’? No way…bull crap!”
And then the next contraction was there and I was pushing. That’s right—either she was insane or I was insane. Perhaps both of us. Because, I was pushing—and Baby started crowning.
The nurse asked me not to push, to just hold in a second. Ha! Right. I was pushing.
Out came Baby’s head. Again, the nurse asked me not to push. This time she gave a reason: because she was trying to help me not to tear down there. But, I had to push. This time, though, I was trying to not push as fast as I did with Baby’s head.
Somewhere in these few minutes of excitement and pushing, I let out five large roars of pain. I only remember letting out two roars with Emma. Mark commented how loud I was. So?
Regardless, out came Baby. Baby Boy! Mark announced it.
A baby boy. I said, “That’s what we guessed. We guessed boy.” The nurses were impressed we didn’t know beforehand the gender of the baby.
Then I started shaking. As in shock. I couldn’t stop shaking.
The nurse in charge had started putting information into the computer. She turned to the room and asked, “Did anyone get the birth time?” Mark said, “2:50.” None of the nurses, in all the excitement, had thought to get the time. Funny. It was seven minutes from the time we pulled in front of the ER to the time Baby was born. SEVEN MINUTES. Emma was born in 14 minutes from the time we parked in the garage.
A little while later, a doctor came in. She was one of my doctor’s colleagues. She told me Dr. Moreland lives far away and that she was the closest doctor to the hospital. This new doctor (I forget her name) delivered my placenta and sewed up my second degree tear.
Our boy weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. I was a little surprised. For some reason he looked bigger to me.
We started talking about names. From the moment I saw his beautiful face, he looked like the “Quinton Herbert” I liked so fondly. But, I tried not to push that name on Mark.
Mark called his mom and my parents.
My purse was no where to be found so we couldn’t give the nurses and hospital staff my ID and insurance information. Finally, we found it in the triage room.
February 22, 2013, The Rest of Quinton’s Birthday
I was tired. Sooo tired. I was also waiting for the natural high I experienced with Emma. I didn’t experience it in quite the same way. I guess you could say that I was able to be awake for pretty much the rest of the night, which is atypical since I value my sleep. But, I wasn’t giddy and giggly like I was when I delivered Emma.
They took me to a room of my own. They drugged me up. And, the rest of the day began: regular interruptions to check my uterus and bleeding; regular interruptions to check my vitals and Baby’s vitals; and regular interruptions to check my pain.
Gratefully, they never took Baby away from our room. They never required him to spend nursery time. They let me give me skin to skin. It was so nice.
Mark went home about 7:00. Mindi texted a little after 6:00 saying both Emma and Zachary were awake and confused. Totally understandable considering how little they are.
That morning, a pediatrician came in. He declared Baby as sound. Then Dr. Moreland, my doctor, came in. We had a chuckle about the delivery and that I was supposed to see her that morning on a regular visit. Then, a social worker came in.
“Normally I wouldn’t even come talk to you. There are no reasons—except…. You have Altius [Insurance].” “Yes.” “Did you know that we don’t take Altius?” “Yes.” “Then why are you here?” I told him the story, including the fact that it was seven minutes from door to delivery and the fact that the nurses delivered him—they didn’t even have time to get a hospital doctor there for delivery. He was happy to declare, “Oh good. You have a really good case. I don’t think the insurance will have a problem approving this. As soon as you get the bill, write your insurance an appeal letter. Considering this was an emergent care situation, they should approve it.” That was actually quite a relief to me—because I had been worrying about it from the time I told Mark to pull into Riverton’s parking lot.
Mark, Zachary, and Emma came to visit us about 11:00. They each got a picture with Baby.
Mark and I decided “Quinton Herbert” fit. Mark announced the name via Facebook a little after noon that day.
They went home and had naps. They came back later, about 7:00. Melanie and Marcus Ray came to visit us about the same time. Oh, how I love the Rays. I wish they were our neighbors.
Melanie called me later when they left. This is the conversation she reported to me:
Melanie: “Zachary, are you excited for Quinton to come live at your house?
Zachary: “Who?”
Melanie: “You know, Quinton, your baby brother, the baby who is with your mom.”
Zachary: “WHAT!?”
Melanie: “Yep, he’s going to go home tomorrow and live in your house.”
Silence for five to seven seconds….
Zachary: “OH MAN!”
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
My thoughts after the election
I hope that I am wrong and that America will now be
better, that I will not be burdened with heavy taxes, that my children's lives
will be better in the years to come, that Americans will not become an entitled
nation, that welfare and government handouts will not increase, and that morals
of absolute right and wrong will not decay. I hope I am wrong... that is all I
have left. I truly hope that I am
wrong.
I am not a Republican or a Democrat. I have no party affiliation. I am an American and I want the best America possible (that includes Canada, Mexico, etc). I support helping those that need help, but they must also help themselves first and foremost. I know that teaching a man to fish is better than simply giving a man a fist, but even a fisher man needs a fish from time to time. I believe that “Wall Street” greed is despicable, but so is government greed. It is greed that we need to eliminate, but no program will eliminate greed. I believe that all human kind deserves the opportunity to reach their dreams, but that those dreams require hard work by the individual and that nothing should be handed to you.
Truly, the U.S. Constitution was established “by the hands of wise men whom [the Lord] raised
upon unto this very purpose” (D&C 101:80). George Washington described
the formation and creation of the Constitution as “a miracle.”[2]
The miraculous creation of this supreme sacred document was directed by the
divine hands. President Washington proclaimed, “No people can be bound to
acknowledge and adore the invisible hand which conducts the affairs of men,
more than the People of the United States. Every step by which they have been
distinguished by some token of providential agency. And in the important
revolution just accomplished in the system of their united government, the
tranquil deliberations and voluntary consent of so many distinct communities,
from which the event has resulted, cannot be compared with the means by which
most governments have been established, without some return of pious gratitude,
along with an humble anticipation of future blessings which the past seem to
presage.”[3]
Ezra Taft Benson, former
Secretary of Agriculture under U.S. President Eisenhower and President of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints indicated that the Constitution’s
genius lies in basic, eternal principles including: (1) free agency is
God-given; (2) the proper role of government is to secure the rights and
freedoms of individuals; (3) basic human rights are God-given; (4) people are
superior to the government they form; and, therefore, (5) governments should
have only limited powers.[5]
We should all read and study the U.S. Constitution. We
should be familiar with their specified rights, regulations, and
responsibilities. Familiarity with the Constitution is necessary to oppose any
infringement of these inspired fundamentals.
We should be law-abiding citizens, supportive of national,
state or territory, and local governments. The Church of Jesus Christ’s of
Latter-day Saints 12th Article of Faith declares: “We believe in being subject to kings,
presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the
law.” In addition, the Church’s official declaration of belief states: “We believe that governments were instituted
of God for the benefit of man; and that he holds men accountable for their acts
in relation to them…We believe that all men are bound to sustain and uphold the
respective governments in which they reside” (D&C 134:1, 5).
Most importantly, to uphold, preserve, and protect the
Constitution and our constitutional rights, we must be moral and virtuous.
Regarding the moral and virtue of the people of the United States, Dallin H.
Oaks has stated, “Those who enjoy the blessing of liberty under a divinely
inspired constitution should promote morality, and they should practice what
the Founding Fathers called ‘civil virtue.’”[6]
James Madison, who is known as the “Father of the
Constitution,” stated there has to be “sufficient virtue among men for
self-government” and that “republican government presupposes that existence of
these qualities in a highest degree than any other form.”[7]
He further asserted that “to suppose that any form of government will secure
liberty or happiness without any virtue in the people is a chimerical idea.”[8]
In addition, Madison said, “If such an immoral and uncivil day should come [to
America], then this last and fairest experiment in favor of the rights of man
will be turned against him.”[9]
O aks echoed the opinion of the founding fathers when he
declared, “It is part of our civic duty to be moral in our conduct toward all
people. There is no place in responsible citizenship for dishonesty or deceit
or for willful-law breaking of any kind. We believe with the author of Proverbs
that ‘righteous exalteth a nation: but
sin is a reproach to any people” (Prov. 14:34). The personal righteousness
of citizens will strengthen a nation more than the force of its arms.”[14]
Likewise, the sins of nations will tear it apart quicker than any opposing
army.
Albert E. Bowen has professed, “Freedom is not bestowed; it is achieved. It is not a gift, but a conquest. It does not abide; it must be preserved.”[27]Absolute freedom is obtained by obedience to moral principles, which in turn creates a moral self-government. Self-government involves self-control, self-discipline, an acceptance of the most unremitting obedience to correct principles. It demands commencement with its high privileges. Duties are the inseparable companions of rights. No other form of government requires so high a degree of individual mortality. This freedom’s only threat is an amoral self-government controlled by modernistic or liberalistic principles of absolute agency with no or limited consequences.
History has proven that the strength of a nation is directly proportional to morality. Nations fall when morals fall. Men become weak when they choose to live their life based on their own sexual pleasures and appetites and execute laws to support their sexual riotous lifestyles. To protect and preserve this nation we must uphold that which is most scared and holy, the divine and natural sexual relationships only between a husband and a wife. The support of any other relationship shakes the very foundation of this nation and tears the constitutional fabric to a fine thread. Frenchmen Alexis de Tocqueville described the United States’ need to be moral and good as follows: “America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”[28]
In addition to living and supporting moral lifestyles, we the people must be honest and true to others and the government for it is only honesty that keeps us obeying and sustaining all laws, covenants, and contracts and “is the keystone that holds any organization together.”[29] Honesty to one’s self is integrity and “is the most fundamental source of a person’s wealth.”[30] The strength of the United States is unequivocally linked to the individual integrity and honesty of each citizen (or national). The chain of civic virtue that binds this nation is weakened each time a citizen (or national) lies, cheats, or steals. Just as the soul of man is seen in the secret silence of solitude, so is the soul of the United States evidenced in the darkest corners of society where actions, though illegal, go essentially unnoticed. Therefore, it is our duty and obligation in support of the fabric of freedom to maintain a sense of true character, even in the unseen darkness of seclusion.
The dispositive example of the often unnoticed but true character of the nation is the actions that occur when the walls of the family since the strength of this nation is utterly correlated to the success of the family. Mr. M. Russell Nelson has stated that “the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government.”[31]
Every political and government body, how great or small, is only as strong as the family unit. The principles that create, protect, and sustain a family are the same principles that create, protect, sustain, and operate all government actions and policies. The strength of this nation is not indicated by what happens in the White House, but what happens in our house. It is not what is discussed and accomplished in board rooms, but what occurs in our living rooms. Former First Lady Barbara Bush similarly declared, “Whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.”[32]
The formation of this nation was not easy and required hard work and sacrifice. Likewise, the further maintenance of the principles of freedom requires a hard working and industrious people. The continued growth and success of the United States will only be achieved if each person exerts himself to his greatest potential; mediocrity efforts by a people produce a mediocre nation.
We must work for what we want and cannot be a people of handouts. What we obtain too cheaply we will esteem to lightly. When we as a people forget the work of the past and except the success of the future to be presented on a silver platter, all that has been obtained will be lost. To be successful as a people, and thus as a nation, we must be active in thought, word, and deed. Paul H. Dunn, in his book, The Ten Most Wanted Men declared, “Nature gave man two ends - one to sit on and one to think with - a man's success or failure depends on the one he uses most.”[33] When Americans begin to use the end to sit on more than then the end to think is a clear sign that we as a people have become complacent and no longer feel a need to work. As America sits and expects success to simply come, the process of decay takes place given that only the rolling rock gathers no moss.
To preserve our Constitutional rights we must be active in our pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness and not simply accept complacent mediocrity. Work is hard, but that is why it is necessary. Without work, we would never reach our potential. Little effort produces little growth. We must not be satisfied with being given a fish, but the knowledge to learn how to fish.
In addition, “[c]itizens should also be practitioners of civic virtue in their conduct toward government. They should ever be willing to fulfill the duties of citizenship. This includes compulsory duties like military service and the numerous voluntary actions they must take if they are to preserve the principles of limited government through self-reliance. For example, since U.S. citizens [and nationals] value the right of trial by jury, they must be willing to serve in juries, even those involving unsavory subject matter. Citizens who favor morality cannot leave the enforcement of moral laws [exclusively] to jurors who oppose them.”[34]
“The single word that best describes a fulfillment of the duties of civic virtue is patriotism. Citizens should be patriotic,” declared Oaks. Patriotism is best described by Aladlai Stevenson: “What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times?...A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outburst of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”[35]
We must stand for the principles that we believe in and protect the fundamental rights in pure harmony with moral absolutes, including watching and protecting those within the minority. However, equal rights do not indicate free reign or agency to do what you want under the pretext of constitutional protection or the expansion of laws to condone activities that violate these fundamental moral absolutes. “Equal rights” is not an invitation to sin. Instead, equal rights means each of us are equally responsibility to bring ourselves to the application of these moral absolutes, for only obedience to laws provide its promised rights.
James E. Talmage once asserted, we must “stand for the Constitution and do not believe in any false notions of advancement and enlightenment and progressivism such as seeks to undermine that foundation of our liberties.”[36]
These are duties and obligations nestled into the paramount document called the Constitution of the United States of America. May we all use our hands in pursuit of that which is just and true, and protect the words of God found in these divine documents.
I want a more perfect union. I want happiness for all. Let’s unite together to reach that goal, but it is not through government actions, it is not capitalisms. It is through love of each other and the love of God.
Elder Orton spoke of love in the October 2001 General Conference, just a few weeks after the tragic terroristic act of September 11th. I feel it is important to include this here, because we as Americans are hurting once again.
The attention of people around the world has been drawn, during the past four weeks, to the willful, intentional, and destructive acts of terrorism and hatred.
Hatred is the antithesis of love. Lucifer is its chief proponent and perpetrator and has been since his approach to the plan of salvation was rejected by the Father. It was he who influenced Judas to deliver Jesus to the chief priests for 30 pieces of silver. It is he, the enemy of all righteousness and the father of contention, who, “as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Pet. 5:8).
On the other hand, it was that same Jesus whom Judas delivered to the chief priests who said, “Love your enemies, … and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you” (3 Ne. 12:44; see also Matt. 5:44). And it was He who pleaded for the soldiers who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
I thought for many years that love was an attribute. But it is more. It is a commandment. In His dialogue with the lawyer, a Pharisee, Jesus said,
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
“This is the first and great commandment.
“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matt. 22:37–40; see also Gal. 5:14).
President [Gordon B.] Hinckley has said that “love is like the Polar Star. In a changing world, it is a constant. It is the very essence of the gospel.”
“Without love … there is little else to commend the gospel to us as a way of life” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 319, 317). The Apostle John said that “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8). Thus, on Him, as the embodiment of love, hang all the law and the prophets.
The Apostle Paul taught that faith, which is the first principle of the gospel, works by love (see Gal. 5:6). What a valuable doctrine to understand! Love is the driving force behind faith. Just as a fire at home on a cold winter night makes it warm, so love of God and neighbor gives us faith, with which anything is possible.
Most of us profess to love God. The challenge, I have observed, is loving our neighbor. The term neighbor includes family, people with whom we work, those whom we see in geographical proximity to our home and at church, and even the enemy, though we do not condone what the latter does. If we do not love all of these, our brothers and sisters, can we truly say that we love God? The Apostle John declared “that he who loveth God love his brother also,” and added, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar” (1 Jn. 4:21, 20). Love of God and neighbor must therefore be inseparably connected.
Our eternal progression leans heavily on the degree to which we love. Webster defines love as the “unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another; an affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests” (Longman Webster English College Dictionary, overseas edition). And Moroni treats as synonymous the terms “pure love of Christ” and “charity” (see Moro. 7:47). We can best demonstrate our love to God by keeping His commandments. And we can show our love to God and neighbor by charitable acts of service.
Permit me two illustrations. In the Transylvanian Alps of Romania, a man, with his wife and two children, was baptized into the Church. He became the leader of his branch; however, due to economic and family pressures, he became inactive for a time. Upon his return to activity, he reported that as he had stepped out of the water at the time of his baptism, someone whispered in his ear, “I love you.” No one had ever told him that before. His recollection of that expression of love, and the loving and charitable acts and expressions of members of his branch, brought him back.
Several years ago, a young man became involved in the ways of the world. For a time, his parents had no influence on him. Two high priests who were neighbors and members of his ward but who had no specific calling to serve him, together with an uncle and others, put their arms around and befriended him. They nursed him back into activity and encouraged him to prepare for a mission. They told him that they loved him and demonstrated that love by their conduct towards him. This changed the young man’s life. It takes an abundance of love and a cooperative effort to raise a child.
“No one can assist in this work [unless] he shall be humble and full of love” (D&C 12:8). “By love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13). Just as service is a natural consequence of love, so is love a natural consequence of service. Husbands, serve your wives. Wives, serve your husbands. Husbands and wives, serve your children. And to all we say, serve God and neighbor. As we do so, we will come to love the object of our devotion and thus be obedient to the first and great commandment of love.
Following His Resurrection in Jerusalem, Jesus appeared to the Nephites in the Americas. After teaching about baptism, He warned against anger and contention, saying, “And there shall be no disputations among you. … For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:22, 29).
Brothers and sisters, if we are obedient to the commandment of love, there will be no disputations, contention, nor hatred between nor among us. We will not speak ill of one another but will treat each other with kindness and respect, realizing that each of us is a child of God. There will be no Nephites, Lamanites, nor other “ites” among us, and every man, woman, and child will deal justly one with another.
Early one morning in Bucharest, as I jogged through Cismigiu Park, I observed an old tree which was struggling to give new branches—to give new life. The symbol of life is to give. We give so much to family and friends and to community and Church that at times we, as the old tree, may think that life is too difficult—that constantly giving is a burden too heavy to bear. We may think that it would be easier to give up and to do only that which the natural man does. But we should not and will not quit. Why? Because we must continue to give, just like Christ and the old tree gave. As we give just a little bit, let us think of Him who gave His life that we might live.
Jesus, near the end of His mortal life, revisited the doctrine of love when He instructed His adherents that as He had loved them, so they also should love one another. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).
I conclude that, given the purpose of our existence, if we do not love God and neighbor, whatever else we do will be of little eternal consequence.
I testify of the divinity of Christ and the reality of His mission to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. That we might love as He loved and continues to love, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/10/the-first-and-great-commandment?lang=eng
These are my thoughts, these are my hopes. Let’s work together in love to this nation and to each other to make this country better.
Mark
I am not a Republican or a Democrat. I have no party affiliation. I am an American and I want the best America possible (that includes Canada, Mexico, etc). I support helping those that need help, but they must also help themselves first and foremost. I know that teaching a man to fish is better than simply giving a man a fist, but even a fisher man needs a fish from time to time. I believe that “Wall Street” greed is despicable, but so is government greed. It is greed that we need to eliminate, but no program will eliminate greed. I believe that all human kind deserves the opportunity to reach their dreams, but that those dreams require hard work by the individual and that nothing should be handed to you.
I believe a utopian society is obtainable, where
everybody is happy and equal, but this is obtained by neither government
programs nor taxes to redistribute of wealth of those that work to those that
don’t nor by a capitalist society of free enterprise and no restrictions. It is only achieved by a voluntary unified
desire of the people to help each other out.
That is my goal, that is my aspirations.
However, this utopia will continue to be impossible today when people
are left to decide for themselves who what is morally right and morally wrong
and fight over who is and Christian.
I believe that the United States Constitution was formed
and created under Divine guidance.
Describing the Constitution of the United States, former lawyer, law
professor, law school dean, President of Brigham Young University, Utah Supreme
Court Justice, and Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Dallin H. Oaks stated, “The United States Constitution was the first written
constitution in the world. It has served Americans well, enhancing freedom and
prosperity during the changed conditions of more than 200 years. Frequently
copied, it has become the United States’ most important export. After two
centuries, every nation in the world, except just [a select few], has adopted
written constitutions, and the U.S. Constitution was a model for each of them.
No wonder modern revelation says that God established the U.S. Constitution and
that it ‘should be maintained for the rights and protections of all flesh,
according to just and holy principles’” (D&C 101:77).[1]
James Madison similarly declared in reference to the
Constitution, “It is impossible for the man of pious reflection not to perceive
in it, a finger of that Almighty hand which has been so frequently and so
signally extended to our relief in the critical stages of the revolution.”[4]
The supernal and inspired Constitution, along with the Bill
of Rights and other Amendments protect the inherent rights of speech, press,
assembly, and free exercise of religion just to name of few. It has prevented
slavery, allowed women to vote, and expanded equal rights to all people. In my
opinion, there are five major direct or indirect provisions of the
Constitution. These included: (1) Sovereignty of the People, (2) Separation of
Powers, (3) Limited Powers of Government, (4) The Principle of Representation,
and (5) the need of a Moral and Righteous people.
Duties and obligations are the inseparable companions of
rights. The responsibilities of those under the umbrella of the United States
Constitution can most easily be described by the introduction of The Preamble
of that vary document. “We, the people of the United States, in order to form a
more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for
the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of
liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this
Constitution of the United States of America.”
How do we as U.S. Citizens help form a more perfect union,
establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility or harmony, provide for the
common defense, promote general welfare, secure blessing of liberty, and
protect all other constitutional rights for ourselves, families, and others?
For clearly we all do have a duty to defend it as our own personal Title of Liberty. As Albert Einstein
declared, “The strength of the Constitution lies entirely in the determination
of each citizen to defend it. Only if every single citizen feels duty bound to
do his share in this defense are the constitutional rights secure.” Let me make
just a few suggestions in what our duties are in respect to the preserving and
upholding the Constitution.
George Washington, during his first Inaugural address
declared, “Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national
morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.”[10]
John Adams, the second U.S. President, likewise declared, “We have no
government armed with power capable of contending with human passions,
unbridled by mortality and religion.”[11]
Adams later declared, “Liberty can no more exist without virtue… than the body
can live without a soul.”[12]
He also said, “[The Constitution] was made only for a moral and religious
people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”[13]
In reference to the same Proverb, Samuel Adams declared,
“revelation assures us that ‘righteousness
exalth a nation,’ … the public liberty will not survive the total
extinction of morals.”[15]
Daniel Webster likewise held, “If we, and our posterity,
shall be true to the Christian religion, if we and they shall live always in
the fear of God, and shall respect his commandments,… we may have the highest
hopes of the future fortunes of our country;…we may be sure of one thing... our
country... will go on prospering and to prosper. But, if we and our posterity
reject religious instruction and authority, violate the rules of eternal
justice, trifle with the injunction of morality, and recklessly destroy the
political constitution, which holds us together, no man can tell, how sudden a
catastrophe may overwhelm us, that shall bury all our glory in profound
obscurity.”[16]
Francis J. Grund (a European by birth but a keen observer of
the American life in the 19th century) declared, “I consider the domestic
virtue of the Americans as the principal source of all their other qualities.
It acts as a promoter of industry, as a stimulus of enterprise, and as the most
powerful restrainer of public vice. It reduces life to its simplest elements,
and makes happiness less dependent on precarious circumstances; it ensures the
proper education of children, and acts, by the force of example, on the morals
of the rising generation: in short, it does more for the preservation of peace
and good order, than all the laws enacted for that purpose; and is a better
guarantee for the permanency of the American government, than any written
instrument, the Constitution itself not excepted” or excluded.[17]
Grund likewise declared, “No government could be established
on the same principle as that of the United States, with a different code of
morals. The American Constitution is remarkable for its simplicity; but it can
only suffice a people habitually correct in their actions, and would be utterly
inadequate to the wants of a different nation. Change the domestic habits of
the Americans, their religious devotion, and their high respect for morality,
and it will not be necessary to change a single letter in the Constitution in
order to vary the whole form of their government. The circumstances being
altered, the same causes would no longer produce the same effects; and it is
more than probable, that the disparity which would then exist between the laws
and the habits of those whom they are destined to govern, would not only make a
different government desirable, but absolutely necessary, to preserve the
nation from ruin.”[18]
The Constitution was based on principles of moral absolutes,
derived from Judeo-Christian traditions of a Divine Supreme being, as set forth
in the Bible - Old Testament and New Testament. In addition moral absolutes can be evidenced
in environmental values, social orders, and financial methods. James Madison
believed that the governance of the Constitution was based off Christian
principles, including the Ten Commandments when he said, “We have staked the
whole future of American civilization not upon the power of the government -
far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions
upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves according to the
Ten Commandments.”[19]
These divinely given moral absolutes include, but are not
limited to the protection of life and its creation, liberty and freedom, family
and the family structure, the pursuit of happiness, free exercise of religion,
justice, the need of accountability, and the preservation of chastity, fidelity
and morality.
Oaks has further declared, “However, others deny the
existence of God or deem God irrelevant to the human condition and the fabric
of the creation and execution of law. Persons who accept this view deny the
existence of moral absolutes. They maintain that right and wrong are relative
concepts, and morality is merely a matter of personal choice or expediency,”[20]
and argue that there are no such things as universal right or wrong, just good
or bad arguments. With this view the existence of moral absolutes are
questioned, and “the most fundamental moral questions have at least two sides,
and every assertion of right or wrong is open to debate.”[21]
The rejection of moral absolutes in regards to chastity has
lead to the public debate of gay marriage and abortion. As a lawyer, I see the
legal reasoning and constitutional rational used to argue the need to expand
equal rights in order to trump moral responsibility, but I am not willing to
support their conclusions. The entire debate regarding these two controversial
issues is the elimination of personal accountability associated with violations
of moral absolutes under the cause of “equal rights.” The rights of sexual
freedom do not trump rights of life.
Many, in their pious podiums pontificate religious support
of these horrific dogmas. They argue that “Christian love” extends to the act,
not just the actor. However, notwithstanding their blatant mockery of God and
His divine word, this is nothing more than the use of current philosophies of
man mingled with scripture to please popular society. Such is the influence of
Satan by declaring the inexistence of moral responsibilities and rationalizing
away the application of law to avoid the punishment of law and the condemnation
of society. They declare that morals are relative to individual interpretation
and that the broadest interpretation should be the standard for all, so that
all actions, despite how vile it may be, can be justified under the guise of freedom
and received its cherished protection.
Oaks has declared the destructive results individualized
interpretation of morals. “One of the consequences of shifting from moral absolutes to moral relativism in public policy is that this produces a
corresponding shift of emphasis from responsibilities to rights.
Responsibilities originate in moral absolutes. In contrast, rights find their
origin in legal principles, which are easily manipulated by moral relativism.
Sooner or later the substance of rights must depend on either the voluntary
fulfillment of responsibilities or the legal enforcement of duties. When our
laws or our public leaders question the existence of absolute moral values,
they undercut the basis for the voluntary fulfillment of responsibilities,
which is economical, and compel our society to rely more and more on the legal
enforcement of rights, which is expensive.”[22]
The call or demand for equality for all sexual behavior and
its subsequent lifestyles and relationships is simply a façade regarding the
avoidance of personal liability for violations of moral absolutes. In the
liberalistic view of today, it is simpler to seek a change in the law in the
pursuit of justice then it is to accept the existence and need to comply with
moral absolutes. They seek to discredit the influence of God in the
Constitution in order to take sin out of the law and life in support of life
styles that imitate love and the nature of humanity.
“Today, those who yell ‘I am free” are often bound by the
fetters of passion, the chains of greed and the bonds of iniquity. They are at
the forefront of those wanting to alter the Constitution to meet their
immediate personal desires. On the one hand they want no moral restrains, and
on the other hand they demand that government plan and provide for its citizens
so that they are freed from personal responsibility. Their ‘freedom’ is but
another band of slavery.”[23]
These arguments of “free love” destroy the need of
self-mastery and restraint; however, true freedom requires self-restraint.
“Freedom by law to act out one’s choices requires enormous self-restraint, for
without self-discipline freedom is readily abused that external controls must
be imposed to maintain order and prevent chaos.”[24]
“Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition
to put moral chains upon their own appetites…Society cannot exist, unless a
controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere; and the less of
it there is within, the more there must be without. It is ordained in the
eternal constitution of things, that men of intemperate minds cannot be free.
Their passions forge their fetters.”[25]
Laws are the extension of humanity’s standards, beliefs, and
expectations. As society’s standards become more carnal, sensual, and devilish
so too goes the laws and judicial determination of the nation. Lifestyles and
activities that were considered repulsive have steadily become socially
accepted and now legally protected. The gradual decay of society through the
guise of constitutional protection is described in Alexander Pope’s renowned
verse.
Vice
is a monster of so frightful mien,
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.[26]
And let me add an additional verse. (I know it is not perfect, but give me a break)
Once embraced we protect it by law,
And reinforce our freedom’s fatal flaw-
That the evil can change the legal decree,
To protect that which is of depravity.
History has proven that the strength of a nation is directly proportional to morality. Nations fall when morals fall. Men become weak when they choose to live their life based on their own sexual pleasures and appetites and execute laws to support their sexual riotous lifestyles. To protect and preserve this nation we must uphold that which is most scared and holy, the divine and natural sexual relationships only between a husband and a wife. The support of any other relationship shakes the very foundation of this nation and tears the constitutional fabric to a fine thread. Frenchmen Alexis de Tocqueville described the United States’ need to be moral and good as follows: “America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”[28]
In addition to living and supporting moral lifestyles, we the people must be honest and true to others and the government for it is only honesty that keeps us obeying and sustaining all laws, covenants, and contracts and “is the keystone that holds any organization together.”[29] Honesty to one’s self is integrity and “is the most fundamental source of a person’s wealth.”[30] The strength of the United States is unequivocally linked to the individual integrity and honesty of each citizen (or national). The chain of civic virtue that binds this nation is weakened each time a citizen (or national) lies, cheats, or steals. Just as the soul of man is seen in the secret silence of solitude, so is the soul of the United States evidenced in the darkest corners of society where actions, though illegal, go essentially unnoticed. Therefore, it is our duty and obligation in support of the fabric of freedom to maintain a sense of true character, even in the unseen darkness of seclusion.
The dispositive example of the often unnoticed but true character of the nation is the actions that occur when the walls of the family since the strength of this nation is utterly correlated to the success of the family. Mr. M. Russell Nelson has stated that “the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government.”[31]
Every political and government body, how great or small, is only as strong as the family unit. The principles that create, protect, and sustain a family are the same principles that create, protect, sustain, and operate all government actions and policies. The strength of this nation is not indicated by what happens in the White House, but what happens in our house. It is not what is discussed and accomplished in board rooms, but what occurs in our living rooms. Former First Lady Barbara Bush similarly declared, “Whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.”[32]
The formation of this nation was not easy and required hard work and sacrifice. Likewise, the further maintenance of the principles of freedom requires a hard working and industrious people. The continued growth and success of the United States will only be achieved if each person exerts himself to his greatest potential; mediocrity efforts by a people produce a mediocre nation.
We must work for what we want and cannot be a people of handouts. What we obtain too cheaply we will esteem to lightly. When we as a people forget the work of the past and except the success of the future to be presented on a silver platter, all that has been obtained will be lost. To be successful as a people, and thus as a nation, we must be active in thought, word, and deed. Paul H. Dunn, in his book, The Ten Most Wanted Men declared, “Nature gave man two ends - one to sit on and one to think with - a man's success or failure depends on the one he uses most.”[33] When Americans begin to use the end to sit on more than then the end to think is a clear sign that we as a people have become complacent and no longer feel a need to work. As America sits and expects success to simply come, the process of decay takes place given that only the rolling rock gathers no moss.
To preserve our Constitutional rights we must be active in our pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness and not simply accept complacent mediocrity. Work is hard, but that is why it is necessary. Without work, we would never reach our potential. Little effort produces little growth. We must not be satisfied with being given a fish, but the knowledge to learn how to fish.
In addition, “[c]itizens should also be practitioners of civic virtue in their conduct toward government. They should ever be willing to fulfill the duties of citizenship. This includes compulsory duties like military service and the numerous voluntary actions they must take if they are to preserve the principles of limited government through self-reliance. For example, since U.S. citizens [and nationals] value the right of trial by jury, they must be willing to serve in juries, even those involving unsavory subject matter. Citizens who favor morality cannot leave the enforcement of moral laws [exclusively] to jurors who oppose them.”[34]
“The single word that best describes a fulfillment of the duties of civic virtue is patriotism. Citizens should be patriotic,” declared Oaks. Patriotism is best described by Aladlai Stevenson: “What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times?...A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outburst of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”[35]
We must stand for the principles that we believe in and protect the fundamental rights in pure harmony with moral absolutes, including watching and protecting those within the minority. However, equal rights do not indicate free reign or agency to do what you want under the pretext of constitutional protection or the expansion of laws to condone activities that violate these fundamental moral absolutes. “Equal rights” is not an invitation to sin. Instead, equal rights means each of us are equally responsibility to bring ourselves to the application of these moral absolutes, for only obedience to laws provide its promised rights.
James E. Talmage once asserted, we must “stand for the Constitution and do not believe in any false notions of advancement and enlightenment and progressivism such as seeks to undermine that foundation of our liberties.”[36]
These are duties and obligations nestled into the paramount document called the Constitution of the United States of America. May we all use our hands in pursuit of that which is just and true, and protect the words of God found in these divine documents.
I want a more perfect union. I want happiness for all. Let’s unite together to reach that goal, but it is not through government actions, it is not capitalisms. It is through love of each other and the love of God.
Elder Orton spoke of love in the October 2001 General Conference, just a few weeks after the tragic terroristic act of September 11th. I feel it is important to include this here, because we as Americans are hurting once again.
The attention of people around the world has been drawn, during the past four weeks, to the willful, intentional, and destructive acts of terrorism and hatred.
Hatred is the antithesis of love. Lucifer is its chief proponent and perpetrator and has been since his approach to the plan of salvation was rejected by the Father. It was he who influenced Judas to deliver Jesus to the chief priests for 30 pieces of silver. It is he, the enemy of all righteousness and the father of contention, who, “as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Pet. 5:8).
On the other hand, it was that same Jesus whom Judas delivered to the chief priests who said, “Love your enemies, … and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you” (3 Ne. 12:44; see also Matt. 5:44). And it was He who pleaded for the soldiers who crucified Him, saying, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
I thought for many years that love was an attribute. But it is more. It is a commandment. In His dialogue with the lawyer, a Pharisee, Jesus said,
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
“This is the first and great commandment.
“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matt. 22:37–40; see also Gal. 5:14).
President [Gordon B.] Hinckley has said that “love is like the Polar Star. In a changing world, it is a constant. It is the very essence of the gospel.”
“Without love … there is little else to commend the gospel to us as a way of life” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 319, 317). The Apostle John said that “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8). Thus, on Him, as the embodiment of love, hang all the law and the prophets.
The Apostle Paul taught that faith, which is the first principle of the gospel, works by love (see Gal. 5:6). What a valuable doctrine to understand! Love is the driving force behind faith. Just as a fire at home on a cold winter night makes it warm, so love of God and neighbor gives us faith, with which anything is possible.
Most of us profess to love God. The challenge, I have observed, is loving our neighbor. The term neighbor includes family, people with whom we work, those whom we see in geographical proximity to our home and at church, and even the enemy, though we do not condone what the latter does. If we do not love all of these, our brothers and sisters, can we truly say that we love God? The Apostle John declared “that he who loveth God love his brother also,” and added, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar” (1 Jn. 4:21, 20). Love of God and neighbor must therefore be inseparably connected.
Our eternal progression leans heavily on the degree to which we love. Webster defines love as the “unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another; an affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests” (Longman Webster English College Dictionary, overseas edition). And Moroni treats as synonymous the terms “pure love of Christ” and “charity” (see Moro. 7:47). We can best demonstrate our love to God by keeping His commandments. And we can show our love to God and neighbor by charitable acts of service.
Permit me two illustrations. In the Transylvanian Alps of Romania, a man, with his wife and two children, was baptized into the Church. He became the leader of his branch; however, due to economic and family pressures, he became inactive for a time. Upon his return to activity, he reported that as he had stepped out of the water at the time of his baptism, someone whispered in his ear, “I love you.” No one had ever told him that before. His recollection of that expression of love, and the loving and charitable acts and expressions of members of his branch, brought him back.
Several years ago, a young man became involved in the ways of the world. For a time, his parents had no influence on him. Two high priests who were neighbors and members of his ward but who had no specific calling to serve him, together with an uncle and others, put their arms around and befriended him. They nursed him back into activity and encouraged him to prepare for a mission. They told him that they loved him and demonstrated that love by their conduct towards him. This changed the young man’s life. It takes an abundance of love and a cooperative effort to raise a child.
“No one can assist in this work [unless] he shall be humble and full of love” (D&C 12:8). “By love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13). Just as service is a natural consequence of love, so is love a natural consequence of service. Husbands, serve your wives. Wives, serve your husbands. Husbands and wives, serve your children. And to all we say, serve God and neighbor. As we do so, we will come to love the object of our devotion and thus be obedient to the first and great commandment of love.
Following His Resurrection in Jerusalem, Jesus appeared to the Nephites in the Americas. After teaching about baptism, He warned against anger and contention, saying, “And there shall be no disputations among you. … For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:22, 29).
Brothers and sisters, if we are obedient to the commandment of love, there will be no disputations, contention, nor hatred between nor among us. We will not speak ill of one another but will treat each other with kindness and respect, realizing that each of us is a child of God. There will be no Nephites, Lamanites, nor other “ites” among us, and every man, woman, and child will deal justly one with another.
Early one morning in Bucharest, as I jogged through Cismigiu Park, I observed an old tree which was struggling to give new branches—to give new life. The symbol of life is to give. We give so much to family and friends and to community and Church that at times we, as the old tree, may think that life is too difficult—that constantly giving is a burden too heavy to bear. We may think that it would be easier to give up and to do only that which the natural man does. But we should not and will not quit. Why? Because we must continue to give, just like Christ and the old tree gave. As we give just a little bit, let us think of Him who gave His life that we might live.
Jesus, near the end of His mortal life, revisited the doctrine of love when He instructed His adherents that as He had loved them, so they also should love one another. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).
I conclude that, given the purpose of our existence, if we do not love God and neighbor, whatever else we do will be of little eternal consequence.
I testify of the divinity of Christ and the reality of His mission to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. That we might love as He loved and continues to love, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/10/the-first-and-great-commandment?lang=eng
These are my thoughts, these are my hopes. Let’s work together in love to this nation and to each other to make this country better.
Mark
[1] Dallin
H. Oaks, Freedom Festival, Provost,
July 5, 1987 (See also Ralph C. Hanock, Just
and Holy Principles, pg 138). [Hereinafter referred to as “Oaks: Freedom
Festival”]
[2] Letter
from Washington to Lafayette
[3] See Just
& Holy, ix.
[4] James
Madison, Federalist Papers, Essay 37
[5] Bryon R. Merrill, Government by the Voice of the
People, The Book of Mormon: Mosiah, Salvation Only Through Christ, Edited by
Monte S. Nyman and Charles D. Tate, FARMS 1990, page 126 (Citing Ezra Taft
Benson, The Constitution: A Heavenly Banner. Salt Lake City ,
Deseret Book, 1986)
[6] Oaks: Freedom
Festival, (Just & Holy, pg 148)(quoting Ezra Taft Benson, The Constitution, a Heavenly Banner, pg.
23)
[7] James
Madison, The Federalist, no. 55
[8] James Madison, (See Johnathan Elliot, ed. The Debates in Several State Conventions on
the Adoption of the Federal Constitution, vol 2. , pg. 175 (See Just &
Holy, 188
[9] James
Madison (See Gaillard Hunt, Ed. The Writings of James Madison, vol.1 pg. 459-60
[10] George Washington; (See James D. Richardson, A Compilation of the Messages and Papers of
the President 1789-1897, US Congress, 1899, vol. 1p. 220 See Just &
Holy, 160)
[11] John
Adams (John Adams, The Works of John Adams, Second President of the United
States, Charles F. Adams, 1854 (Cited by L. Tom Perry, “Truth and Liberty”
Speeches of the Year 1987-1988 BYU, page 27-35) (See Also Just & Holy, 161)
[12] John Adams (See Bernard Bailyn, “A Fear of Conspiracy
against Liberty
[13] John Adams (Cited Robert J. Matthews, “Patterns of Apostasy
in the Book of Mormon” (Helaman), pg 73 quoting by W.O. Nelson, The
Character of Liberty Deseret Book, 1987); (See also John R. Howe, Jr., The
Changing Political Thought of John Adams, Princeton: Princeton Univ. 1966, 185
(See See Bryon R. Merrill, Government by the Voice of the People, Mosiah, page
128)(See Just & Holy, 148)
[14] Oaks;
Freedom Festival (Just & Holy, pg. 148)
[15]Letter from Samuel Adams to John Scollary of
Boston
[16] Daniel Webster , Webster's Historical Society
Address, NY: Press of the Historic Society, 1852 (See Bryon R. Merrill,
Government by the Voice of the People, Mosiah, 128)
[17] The Americans,
in Their Morals, Social, and Political Relations Boston :
Capen and Lyon 1837, pg 71-72 Robert J.
Matthew, “Patterns of Apostasy in the Book of Helaman” (Helaman), pg 74
[18] Id.
[19]James Madison; (See Russ Walton, Biblical
Principles of Importance to Godly Christians, pg. 361) Quoted by M. Russell
Ballard, July 5, 1992, Provo
Utah
[20] Dallin
H. Oaks, “Religious Values and Public Policy” (See Just & Holy, pg. 150)
[Hereinafter referred to as “Oaks: Religious Values”]
[21] Oaks:
Religious Values, pg.150
[22] Oaks:
Religious Values, pg.151
[23] Bryon
R. Merrill, Government by the Voice of the People, Mosiah, 133
[24] Bryon
R. Merrill, Government by the Voice of the People, Mosiah, 118
[25] Edmund
Burke (Irish political theorist), The Works of Edmund Burke, 12 vols. Boston
[26] Alexander Pope, Essay on Man. Epistle ii. Line 217
(See also Clyde J. Williams, “Deliverance from Bondage” Mosiah, page 267
[27] Albert
E. Bowen, General Conference, April 3, 1938 (See Just & Holy, 89)
[28] Alexis de Tocqueville (French historian); See Ezra
Taft Benson, God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalities, Salt Lake City,
Deseret Book, 1974, 360; Bryon R. Merrill, Mosiah, page 128
[29] Gordan
B. Hinckley, Standing for Something,
Times Books, 19
[30] Steven
R. Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, 298
[31]Ensign, November (2005)
[32] To the
graduates of Wellesley College , Text of Mrs. Bush's Speech, Washington
[33] Dunn, Wanted, 236
[34] Oaks;
Freedom Festival (Just & Holy, pg. 148)
[35] Adlai
Stevenson, speech given in New York
City
[36] James
E. Talmage, General Conference Report Oct. 1912, (See Just & Holy, 70).
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